Chapter 240: Suffering
Author: White Pear Flower
Raws: https://book.qidian.com/info/2386994/
Translated by Gumihou
Proofread by Pill Bug
Gumihou: Gumi suffered much indeed.
After saying his piece, Jin Fengju waved a hand over his head, as though to wave away the chaotic thoughts in his mind. After a while, he continued with, “When they later returned to the Capital, my aunt would often bring Wanying over to visit. As we grew older, we did not see each other often, but I had always treated Wanying like a younger sister. However, later, when I was compelled into a marriage with you, my aunt brought her over. She blocked my way in the garden and told me that she felt sorry for the unfair treatment I received, and with a blush, told me that so long as it would help me regain some face, she would be willing to be my secondary wife.
It was from that moment on that I felt grateful to her. I had nothing but respect for her. Even so, because I respected her, I was even more unwilling to let her suffer this injustice and rejected her in the end. However, Duke Lu and my uncle said that so long as we could be a harmonious couple, everything would be alright. Elder Madam was also in favour of this relationship. Moreover, she liked Wanying, and though my father had some misgivings, she eventually married into our family for the sake of the family’s face.
Because of this, I have always been indulgent to her, letting her have the power of stewardship over the inner court. Later, even after I discovered her vicious and sinister nature, and how she had caused trouble for you and Yanfang, and now, perhaps even with Meiyun, I cannot help but recall the past, how I did not have the heart to punish her. However…”
There, Jin Fengju dramatically closed his eyes and gripped Fu Qiuning’s hands tightly, “It is only now that I finally know that from the moment she married into my family, everything was all planned. To think that she married me with such intentions from the beginning, I… Qiuning, do you know that I am not only angry, but also feel like a knife has been stabbed through my heart? I really should never have been so blind…”
[1] “I see, how fascinating,” said Fu Qiuning when it looked like she was required to give an answer. What did he expect her to do, comfort this man who married random women for the sake of revenge and face? [1a] “Qiuning, you are so understanding!” he cried as he embraced her. “How could that woman be so vicious? To pretend to marry me out of love, only to scheme behind my back? How could she do such a terrible thing?”“You are certain that she is at fault?” said Fu Qiuning in her best doubtful voice. She thought: While it was not unlikely for Jiang Wanying to marry Jin Fengju because of their parents’ scheming, her love for Jin Fengju was real. She even had two children with him and would most likely turn on her family for his sake. However, now that he had neglected her to this point… there was no reason for her to hold back. A scorned woman is truly scary indeed.
“How could there be any doubt? These past years, whenever she expressed tender feelings towards me, she would often weep and say that she feared that we could not be together until our twilight years. I had often attributed this to her over-sensitive nature, but now… the more I think about it, the more I am convinced. She must know what would happen in the future and knew that I could never forgive her treachery. Hehe, she must have been so worried all the time. However, after she knew that there was no way I could ever give her my heart, her vicious nature emerged and she now wants my life instead. Didn’t you say that your sister went to her place before coming over? We had wondered over this little detail before, but now we know. They were clearly exchanging information!”
[1] “… …”Jin Fengju had let go of her hand to make that speech and was now standing heroically in the middle of the room. He was a phoenix rising from the ashes, a man who had gotten up despite life’s attempt to stomp him down.
Suddenly, he whirled around to declare, “Do not worry, Qiuning. I am fine.”
As though the past anger, sadness, shock and all other negative emotions were a lie, they had all dissipated and were replaced with shimmering determination and resolve. Fu Qiuning wondered if she should clap her hands.
“How can I, Jin Fengju, be defeated by such a small blow? What’s more, now that I have you,” Jin Fengju suddenly swooped in to hug her gently, before sneering, “Good, this is very good. Since I have mistreated them by not loving them back, it is only right for them to turn their backs on me. This is very fair. I know you also think this way, isn’t that right, Qiuning?”
[2] [1] Fu Qiuning nodded, “That’s right, it is only right for them to hate you for not loving them back.” [2a] Fu Qiuning’s cool answer was… not unexpected. However, it was still very disheartening to Jin Fengju. He knew that he had vowed to himself that he would wait for Fu Qiuning to love him back, whether it was five years or even ten years. However, so see her cold reaction… no, it was not even cold, it was… indifference. [4] It was his own fault really, since he had treated her with indifference as well back then, refusing to even consummate the marriage to humiliate her. It was his indifference that nearly killed her. If not for her resourcefulness, she and the twins, his two most promising children, would have long since become corpses within that cold and abandoned courtyard.As Fu Qiuning casually turned her attention to the window, Jin Fengju lunged forward, hugging her tightly in his arms as he murmured into her ear, “Qiuning, ah. So long as you don’t let me down in this life, I will never let you down either. If they turn out to be spies, I shall send them far away in the future and devote my whole heart and soul to you and save myself the trouble of having to take care of their feelings. After all, it is not good to suffer a one-sided relationship. If the love from one side is heavier than the other, it would only lead to suffering. It is only now that I understand how selfish true love is. I only wish to devote myself to you wholeheartedly. Thinking back, how could I have ever imagined that it would be fine for you to see me visit another person’s room?”
[2a] Fu Qiuning patted him on the back, “It is all your imagination. I am fine if you wish to attach more women into your-” [2a] “Qiuning!” Jin Fengju felt as though his heart was about to be ripped out. He now felt that the term ‘unselfish love’ and ‘women’s generosity’ that was supposedly the pinnacle of a woman’s virtue, was more a curse than a blessing. What ‘unselfish love’? What ‘generous spouse’? The love that he was currently feeling was so overwhelming and all-encompassing for this one person that it prevented him from even thinking about others. So, how could she- [2b] On the one hand, Wanying and Meiyun had most likely betrayed him. Those wenches only married him to further their own families’ interests while the others cooked up all kinds of despicable schemes just to get his attention. Only Qiuning was sincere in her love… for his children… At this moment, standing at the window with Fu Qiuning, his heart felt hollow as the body in his arms remained rigid with tension. He knew that Fu Qiuning could never leave him, if only because she was dependent on him and loved his children wholeheartedly. If he continued to shower Qiuning with love and attention, surely, one day she would-“Ahem…”
Jin Fengju felt himself being pushed away and, though reluctant, he allowed himself to move back and looked in the direction of the door. It was Yu Jie with a rather cheeky look on her face. He sneered to himself: if only things were as the maid had imagined, that Fu Qiuning, who was now going over to sit demurely in place, was being shy because they were caught being affectionate.
“What is it, Yu Jie,” Fu Qiuning sounded annoyed, most likely because the maid was sporting a smirk on her face rather than embarrassment at ‘being caught’.
Still smirking, the maid beamed brilliantly at Jin Fengju as she saluted him before saying, “Master, Jin Ming has been waiting outside for a long time. He said that Prince Rong had invited you to his palace. It looks like the prince has something important to discuss with Master.”
Jin Fengju frowned and said to Fu Qiuning, “It must be what I have told you just now. I shall go over right now. You continue to keep an eye on Zhenyi. Imperial Physician Liu had been asked to visit the Duke of Zheng and Marquis of An Ning’s place this morning. I have already sent a message to him, asking him to come later. I may not be able to return until evening, and if it gets too late, I shall stay at my brother-in-law’s place. You go to bed early.”
Fu Qiuning decorously agreed and escorted him out. When he turned around to look at her with hopeful eyes, she obligingly said, “Enjoy your evening out.” [3] [1a] A pained look crossed his face and he said, “I shall try and come back as soon as I can.” Before Fu Qiuning could say anything to that, he had fled.
Looking at Jin Fengju’s fleeing back, complicated feelings rose within Fu Qiuning. Even so, there was no point in dwelling on those chaotic things. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, thinking that this was all too convoluted and troublesome.
Yu Jie sidled over with tea and asked carefully, “When Madam was speaking with Master just now, I stood outside to guard the door. Please rest assured that Madam’s voice was not at all loud and this maid heard nothing. However… this maid had always believed that this matter involved more than just Concubine Huo. Could there be someone else? Is… the Master suspicious of Madam?”
Fu Qiuning rolled her eyes, “What is there to be suspicious about? Even if he suspects me, what is the worst he could do? Banishment? Send me back to my maternal home? Enough about that, whatever happens, will happen, and no amount of thinking will prevent it. You just concentrate on your own thing. The Lantern Festival will be upon us soon. I believe you will enter your new family’s house in the Fourth or Fifth month. Therefore, it is best to pay attention to your dowry instead.”
Yu Jie turned pink as she muttered, “Madam flatters this maid too much. I am but a slave girl, how could I be worthy of the word ‘dowry’? If that family is aiming for something like dowry, they could just turn their sights on other girls instead. I’m sure there are many precious rich ladies willing to marry in.”
Fu Qiuning thought: Look at the way this girl protests.
“What worthy or not worthy? When Aunt Yu married out, your Master prepared several chests of dowry for her. Not only that, he personally chose this imperial guard for you. Therefore, there is no way that he would skimp on the dowry and shame himself. He must have already prepared all the furniture and jewellery for you, so all you have to do is work on your wedding clothes. If you have not started yet, you should get on with it soon. If you need some help, I shall assist you as time permits.”
Yu Jie blushed so hard that it looked like she was about to bleed from her face. She lowered her head and muttered, “If Madam continues to speak like this, I won’t serve here anymore.” Then, she swiftly turned around and fled.
[5] This was the second person to have fled her presence, Fu Qiuning looked around the empty room and picked up her embroidery once again. One person was too shy and fled at every sign of intimate talk, while the other was too shameless but still fled when confronted with the reality of their own feelings. As expected, these people are all too immature to even think about dating, let alone having children. They are more like teenagers themselves.[Gumihou: Wow, White Pear Flower working overtime to blacken Jiang Wanying…]
[1] Appropriate reaction to drama-filled declaration. [1a] Have JFJ enact the dramatic relationship performance as a solo [2] Deleted ‘aww, hubby is so progressive’ thoughts. Also deleted ‘Now that we are in a loving-uwu relationship, if you betray me, I will hate you and die with you~’ [2a] Delete ‘wow, I’m so lucky~ my hubby loves me wholeheartedly~~’ Give him a real reason for his heart feeling ripped out. [2b] Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and delete the ‘fortunately he still has a lover who loves him wholeheartedly~’ [3] Reaction that did not involve an ‘uwu’ [4] Worded the nice words as character development on Jin Fengju’s side instead of reinforcement that JFJ is like so, so amazing wonderful wow humble [5] Changed the ending to fit reality
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