Tondemo Fanfiction – 029 – Crossover – Toriko 2

It’s Getting Crowded Here

Or

When gods crave snacks, mortals suffer. But hey, at least we have marshmellow pumpkins!

 

I was inspired by a suggestion from Patreon Reader Hade!

Continuation from Chapter 13

 

Meanwhile, far away from their location, in a completely different dimension…

“How dare they enjoy all those delicious things without great me?!! I shall send an oracle to that irresponsible fellow right away! Kuuhh, what is that Cream Puff Bush? That Apple Pudding Tree! And those anko-filled things… those had to be the legendary Dorayaki Fish!!! Ahhhh!!!!”

 

A shiver went up my spine.

After living in this place filled with monstrous creatures and travelling with even more monstrous legendary creatures (Sui-tan being the sweet exception) he had long since learned to ignore these shivers of dread.

While the creatures here were incredibly powerful, deadly, covered in muscles, spines and poison, pretty much nothing could go past the barrier put up by his familiars. Even if they could all of his familiars were within shouting distance so-

“Master! I received an oracle from the Great Wind Goddess, Ninril-sama!”

–then again, beings above legendary creatures do exist in this world.

“Yeah? What does she want?” I asked with a roll of my eyes. If I know that Deplorable-sama…

“Master, Ninril-sama wants you to offer her a dozen Dorayaki Fish, a dozen Cream Puff Bush, five Apple Pudding and…”

“Uh-huh, okay, what else?” I asked as I automatically wrote down the order.

“Make that five dozen Dorayaki Fish!!” A voice shrieked in my head.

I looked up the sky where I guess the Deplorable Goddess must be looking at me from.

“I-it’s not like you have to pay for it! Th-that means I get to have as many as I like! Yes, that’s how it is!”

“Is it now?” I said thoughtfully. “Gee, maybe I should consult the others. Maybe Demiurgos-sam-”

“AHHhhhhhHH!!!”

“Oi, what’s with the screaming, Ninril?”

“Oh my, what’s this place?”

Ah, the God I was hoping to invoke did not come, instead, two other Goddesses have arrived instead.

“Oh my, this is quite interesting. I heard that this world was created by that young God… what’s his name again? Never mind, he was a Creation God too and liked to experiment.”

“Didn’t he also have a pal who likes to eat? I think half of the creatures and living things here were hatched up between them to see how far they could stretch a mortal world without actually imploding it.

“Well, actually-”

“Shh! We’re not allowed to talk about that!”

“Oh, yeah…”

“… …” I seemed to have heard something shocking. You know what, I heard nothing. This is just a quaint little offshoot of the fantasy world I was in. In fact, it is quite pleasant. Just take a look at those fluttering Waffleflies, they are so cute…

I am certainly not thinking about how these creatures mate or reproduce.

“”Aruji~ these little veggie-dessert-fruits are yummy~~””

“Oh my, Sui, those are… I think those are pumpkins? They are really tiny~”

Sui brought me one of these cute orange pumpkins. They were lighter than expected and when I tried to sniff one, it smelt like… honey?

“”Aruji~ Aruji~ bite it~””

“… um, sure,” not that I didn’t trust Sui, but I had seen her eat rocks. I have fed her plastic containers and various Other World garbage, so…

Anyway, I took a bite and my teeth sank into something soft and almost cottony.

“Woah, this is… quite amazing! I think it’s some kind of marshmallow. Wait, what happens to them when it rains-”

“I want a thousand of those!!” Ninril-sama shrieked in my head.

 

After some back and forth, I sent my familiars out to collect various fruits and… things and place them into cardboard boxes. We plucked the aforementioned Marshmallow Pumpkins off vines, and scooped some Dorayaki Fish from a very clear stream (I try not to think about how these wet fish gradually dried on the outside to eventually become crispy and piping hot when it was just swimming about happily couple of minutes ago), collected two huge plates full of the Hambaagu Fruit, as well as assorted other things.

By now, the three goddesses had been joined by a very interested Ruka-sama as well as the two alcoholic gods.

“Oi, we are not alcoholics!”

“Yeah, we just enjoy drinking!”

“It’s a hobby!”

“A gentleman’s past time!”

“That said, why isn’t there a lick of alcohol on this island?”

“Tsk, what a lousy place.”

“Hahh, I’d like some alcohol too, but even I haven’t said anything yet,” Agni-sama muttered.

“Why don’t you just leave if you don’t like this place?” Ninril-sama growled.

“I don’t know about any of you, but I want to taste that Bacon Leaf,” said Agni-sama. “Smoked bacon goes real good with beer, and I have a couple of crates left…”

“Oooh, is that so?”

“Well, maybe we’re a bit interested…”

“Bacon Leaf… is that considered meat or vegetable? Beauty is better maintained with a plant-based diet but, the lack of collagen in plants could cause a lack of skin elasticity,” said Kishar-sama.

“There you go again, spouting things from those books you’ve been reading…”

While the gods and goddesses chattered overhead, I looked at the boxes of goods we had collected. While it doesn’t cost us money, it’s a lot of effort to collect these. It was thanks to the many little Suis that we managed to collect so many things so quickly.

Anyway, while I was about to put my hands together and pray over the offerings, there was a sudden shriek.

“There! That one! I want that thing!!!”

“Eh?”

“Hm?”

“Huh?

“Oi-”

“Kishar?”

“Ahem,” I could practically hear the blush in her voice. “Apologies. Something caught my eye… That is, Other Worlder-kun, could you please look under that pine-like tree over there? There, you see?”

I decided to humour Kishar-sama, mostly because she had been the most reasonable one outside of Demiurgos-sama and also, her voice was a pitch I was too familiar with. My sister shrieked like that whenever she found a beauty thing that she likes and I had long since learned that one does not step in the path of a woman trying to get to whatever beauty product she had her eyes on.

Therefore, I reluctantly stepped through some undergrowth and… wait, is that a piece of steak on the floor?

I looked around and said out loud, “Why is there a steak on the floor?”

“Muh?”

“What?”

“”Lemme see!””

“”Sui wants to see too~!!””

My familiars crowded around me and we all stared at the steaks that were growing out of the floor.

“Tch, that’s no meat.”

“Indeed, that is a mushroom, Master.”

“”Woah, there’s a stem under it!!”” Dora-chan had plucked one of these mushroom steaks and was now rushing around with an odd-looking ‘umbrella’.

“”Aruji want Sui to collect meat mushroom~?””

Since Kishar-sama was shrieking in happiness in my head, I sighed and nodded. “Sure, collect them.”

Meanwhile, I opened [Appraisal] to check on the weird thing.

 

Sirloin Shrooms

A small mushrooms with a cap resembling a cut of sirloin steak, making it almost indistinguishable from actual meat.

So juicy that grilling with just salt and pepper, or even soy sauce makes it tasty.

Its fat content rivals that of actual sirloin meat and it has an abundance of collagen, which makes it a decent beauty-enhancing food product. Shrooms are best when grilled with salt or soy sauce.

 

“Um, Kishar-sama-”

“Please cook them before offering them,” was the immediate reply.

“Okay, sure…”

 

We found a good number of these Sirloin Shrooms, enough to make a nice side dish barbecue. The Gluttonous Quartet still demanded more food in addition to all the stuff they had eaten at this place.

Since the Shrooms needed to be grilled, I made some actual steaks along with the Shroom Steaks. Personally, I think the Shrooms tasted better. Let’s collect a bit more and see if Alban can do anything about them.

 

[Gumihou: Woah, that was more eventful than I had been expecting]

 

 

 

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