Chapter 195: Enemy Territory
Link: https://ncode.syosetu.com/n7583de/
Author: Hirukuma
Translated by Zzonkedd
Edited by Gumihou
Pitee, who had yet to grasp the situation properly, was frantically scanning the room. As for myself, I was too busy trying to think of a way to get out of this situation to explain anything to her. There will be time for explanations later.
Leader Keryoil was cutting the ropes off the twins with his dagger. There was nothing I could do to stop him, so I just watched in helpless silence.
The two unconscious people had also woken up, and now I have four people staring at me. None of them looked particularly triumphant like Sulrim, nor did they look saddened. I wonder what was going on in their minds.
“Right, shall we start off with some explanations? We are on a certain floor where the Ruler of the Netherworld had made his base.”
As for which floor, that’s a secret, right? From the window, the only thing I could see was some cloudy skies. It was too high for me to catch a glimpse of the topography.
“We are in the middle of clearing the final floor, but we ran out of food and other supplies. In short, we needed your abilities. That is why we pretended to recruit Pitee. We knew that you would be part of the team that would try and stop us.”
“So Pitee… is just a freebie…”
Pitee sounded exceptionally disheartened as she peeked through the gap in her shields.
“Regardless of whether you appear or not, having you or Pitee in our forces would increase our chances of success. That is why we stayed on the island and waited.”
“The plan worked better than we thought, eh, Red?”
“Although Hakkon and the others gave us more trouble than expected, White.”
“Indeed, everyone surpassed our expectations.”
Thank you for the flattery, but this is not a situation where I was happy about being praised. Thanks to you guys, I have now been transported into enemy territory. While I don’t feel especially threatened when faced with the Whimsical Fool’s party, what do they expect a vending machine like me to do?
“Enough tricks. Hakkon, won’t you challenge the final floor with us? Please?”
“Too bad”
“Is it really impossible?”
“Too bad”
Sorry, but it’s a hard no for me. While I do understand Leader Keryoil and his party members’ desire to save their youngest child. I cannot bring myself to betray the people of the dungeon.
“Is that so? Well, I thought as much. What about you, Pitee? Won’t you rejoin the team?”
They backed down pretty easily and were now trying to recruit Pitee.
“Pitee… promised… Hakkon and others…”
“What if we let you have a wish once the dungeon had been conquered? The four of us only have one wish, so we have coins, floor boss coins to spare.”
The temptation must be quite significant as the shields actually rattled as Pitee trembled within it. If wishes could really be granted, then Pitee’s dream of being loved by her crush could finally come true.
“That person would finally be yours and yours alone,” said Leader Keryoil as he drew closer to the shields. His voice was as sweet as honey, and tempting as a devil’s whisper.
This surely won’t end well. Pitee’s desire for that man verges on obsessive. With this kind of offer on the table. Her answer is obvious.
“No, his feelings… mustn’t be… due to tricks… it’s… not right.”
Or not?
I could not help but stare at Pitee’s unexpected response. A single eye stared through the gap of her long bangs and the slitted opening of her shield; the eye shone with unexpectedly powerful will.
While I could not commend her for her obsessive behaviour, I don’t dislike her sincere attitude towards love.
“Really, you have always been stubborn about the oddest things, haven’t you? Well, take your time and think things over carefully. We cannot allow you to leave unless you join our party. We will see you again tomorrow.”
The four of them turned to leave. A couple of steps later, the twins rushed back.
“Ah, Hakkon, sell us something. Let me have that karaage thing or something.”
“Me too, me too.”
Hm, even if we were enemies, a customer is still a customer. I don’t mind making money off them, but it irked me to just let them have their way like that.
With that, I switched out the products.
“Oi, Hakkon! It’s all water! That’s too mean!”
“Gimme meat or some of those sweet drinks or something! Come on!!”
The twins begged and pleaded. Their parents looked like they wanted something too, but instead of pleading their cause, they were just staring steadily at me. It was rather unnerving.
Hmm, I thought about it for a moment and decided that since I was a prisoner, it’s best not to be too belligerent. It might just tip them from being annoying to actively hostile. For now, let’s do this.
I put out some best-selling items in neat rows and made some minor adjustments.
“Welcome”
“Oh, thank you, Hakkon. Now, what to buy… Wait a sec!”
“This is a rip-off! Ten silver coins for one item? You’ve got to be kidding!”
Anyone who has been to ski resorts and mountain hikes should know that the higher or more remote a place, the higher the prices. This is my so-called ‘enemy territory pricing’, so enjoy.
“Can’t you just let us off?”
“That’s a rip-off! Argh, can’t help it though, gotta buy!”
They seem frustrated, but their mouths remember the taste of the items. Swallowing, they insert their silver coins. The twins ended up buying three items each. Leader Kerioil and Vice-Captain Filmina also make a few purchases before leaving.
Well, well, not bad in terms of sales. This is one way of attacking them. Their wallets make fine targets.
I looked around the room again. The single, barred window was placed quite high up. The one door to the enclosed room was made of metal, and there was no furniture at all. Not even a bucket. It was a completely empty room of about 8 tatami wide.
Well, it’s not like I needed any kind of furniture or anything, but…
“There’s… no toilet…”
And that there… lies the problem.
Pitee had opened up the top half of her shield and was fidgeting while sitting in the bowl of her second shield. Her hands placed over her lower body.
Those inconsiderate people have completely forgotten about Pitee’s existence. To think they would actually leave a woman in a bare room without a toilet or even a bucket…
“W-what should I do… I have to… go…”
She was currently looking at an empty plastic bottle, left by one of the twins. Her mind was moving towards a desperate direction.
“Pi-tee”
Then again, it’s not like I can’t do anything for her. I do have that function after all… with a sigh, I prepared the <Emergency Potty> and set it up for her via <Telekinesis>. It was something that I had set up for plenty of female hunters already.
“Um… this is…” her voice was trembling. She must be close to her limit.
“Use-thi-s”
My words are limited, but here’s to hoping that she understands me.
Pitee looked at me, then at what looked like a ‘standing only’ tent. Ah, looks like I’ll have to make things clearer.
So, I dropped a bottle of mineral water, popped open its cap and moved it towards the tent. I tilted the bottle so that water trickled into the hole in the middle of the chair. [1] The sound made her blush. I have to admit, it did sound a lot like someone’s doing a wee…
Anyway, after half the content was gone, I used <Telepathy> to fish out the bag in the hole, tie it off and set it down on the ground. Then, I replaced the bag with the one that was kept beside the chair.
[1] I wanted to tell Pitee that the highly absorbent material in the bag and the deodorising material should be good enough to get rid of any unwanted smell, but lacked the necessary syllable count for it. Still, the demonstration should be enough-
Pitee rushed into the tent and zipped up the entrance. I courteously transformed into a jukebox and started playing some classical music to drown out any noise coming from the tent.
With the toilet issue resolved, I let her choose the food that she liked and with nothing better to do, we called it a night. I could not provide any bedding, but Pitee was already preparing her shield, clearly ready to sleep inside. To be honest, I can’t say the shield looks comfortable at all.
After some thought, I laid out some of my fluffiest towels inside the shield. Pitee stared at me, “Thank you… Hakkon… You’re… so kind…”
Though I could not see her expression clearly. She did seem quite happy. Well, that was good. We would all need to keep a positive mindset in this place.
As soon as her breathing eased, I laid two more towels over her as blankets.
Then, I started inflating balloons from the <Balloon Vending Machine>, making sure not to make any sound. Soon, the space within my <Barrier> was filled with balloons, and after transforming into a <Cardboard Vending Machine>, I started to gently float upward.
Once I was level with the window, I looked through the bars. Outside was pitch-black. I will have to try this again in the morning or afternoon. With nothing else to do, I returned to ground level and transformed back into a regular vending machine.
Since we’re inside enemy territory, I decided to forgo sleep and keep watch.
[1] “… …”
Well, keeping watch was boring, so I decided to have a little fun…
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“O~i are you awake yet… wait, what the hell-!?” [2] Leader Keryoil sounded the most astonished I had ever heard.
“Eh? What’s that noise… Wh-what the… ehhhh?!?” Pitee, who had been woken up by Leader Keryoil, rubbed her bleary eyes and had to rub them again after gaping at the sight of the room.
The room, which had been completely empty and devoid of anything, was now anything but. Colourful plastic flowers arranged in plastic bottles cut in the shape of vases lined the room. I had also pinned fans, hand towels and even a yukata to the wall. Wooden clogs in various colours line the floor.
Naturally, these were all souvenir stuff from vending machines. I found them at airports and tourist sites, you bet I bought everything without hesitation.
“Uwaahh… it’s so pretty… I could stay here for days…”
Pitee was happier than I thought she would be by the redecoration. Personally, [1] I think it’s not right to lock up the poor, slightly deranged woman in a cell like this, which was probably why I had gone a little overboard with the decoration.
If I had had as many features back when I was locked up with Hyurumi, I would have also decorated that room. [1] It was surprisingly fun.
“Do you two even know or even understand your situation?”
Leader Keryoil looked annoyed but somehow relieved that we were not that scared. Regardless of the circumstances, I can only do the best I can, as a vending machine.
[Gumihou: Bit too much tell and too little show at the end there, author]
[1] Added details
[2] Adjusted details
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