Chapter 87: I Want to Switch to a 100’ Screen
Author: Black Lantern (黑色花灯)
Translated by Gumihou
Gumi: Changed the first paragraph. It was originally a paraphrased summary of the last two paragraphs from the previous chapter. It was rather awkward, so brought the last two paragraphs forward in italics instead.
Ye Fei blinked slowly, “I… I seem to have seen some spaceships flying across my screen just now.”
Hearing this, 3Dragon’s  athletic legs gave out and he plopped to the floor.
As a loyal viewer of the QQ Platform. He had been watching broadcasts here long before Ye Fei came into the scene. The broadcasts he watched were a mixed bag of things from Song & Dance, Storytelling, Fitness and Outdoor Sports. Therefore, he was fairly clear about how the reward system works.
 Though he was fairly well off, he never looked at the much pricier reward items from QQ or other platforms, because the number of zeroes tagged onto items such as spaceships and aircraft carriers was just too scary looking. After all, tapping on one would cost HX¥30,000 in real money, ah.
When he heard that someone had awarded a spaceship to Ye Fei, 3Dragon looked like he had seen a ghost.
After staring into the distance for a few minutes, he crawled to his feet and, ignoring the Braised Bull Pizzle with Broccoli & Wolfberry, he rushed to Ye Fei’s laptop and saw the final spaceship just before it disappeared.
“F*ck, so it’s real, ah! Who the hell is that big tyrant, ah? So generous!”
3Dragon quickly addressed Tasting Everything Under Heaven, “Heaven Bro, who was the person who awarded Ye Fei with the spaceship just now, ah?”
Tasting Everything Under Heaven laughed, “3Dragon, so it IS possible to surprise you. Weren’t you all smug earlier?”
3Dragon ignored the jab and  quickly said, “Heaven Bro, I was wrong just now. Come on, tell me now. Who was it? Is it 8-Treasure Bro?”
From 3Dragon’s point of view, only a reckless person like 8-Treasure Cuisine could throw money around like this.
Tasting Everything Under Heaven did not tease him too long and said, “Certainly, 8-Treasure Bro is involved.”
“Heheh, just as expected… wait, ‘is involved’? What do you mean by  ‘involved’?”
3Dragon was a little confused.  ‘Involved’? Did they share the cost of the spaceship? Is that possible? Did 8-Treasure Bro send out the spaceship that he and other viewers sponsored together?
 One spaceship was shocking enough, it never even occurred to him to think that what he saw was the remnants of the fourth spaceship.
Tasting Everything Under Heaven chuckled, “But of course, do you believe that Deity Ye’s food is only worth one measly spaceship? Let me tell you, he’s not even the first person to award a spaceship to Deity Ye. The first to bestow a spaceship is Grand Tyrant Heavenly Food Tyrant!”
“Heavenly Food Tyrant??”
This was the first time he heard this person’s name, but no matter what, just knowing that there was another such great benefactor in Ye Fei’s live broadcast was enough to make him happy as a fan.
Right then, Ye Fei came to sit down at the table with the laptop, the plate of Braised Bull Pizzle steaming in front of him. He smiled, “Thank you very much, everyone. Through your love and care, I, Ye Fei, would do my best with every single broadcast, now and forever.”
He was being sincere. Seeing the viewers being so generous with him, he vowed to never allow the fires of enthusiasm in his fans’ hearts to be dimmed.
With that, he picked up the plate and swayed it side to side in front of the camera, saying, “The Braised Bull Pizzle with Broccoli & Wolfberry is ready. To be honest, I’m not sure what it will taste like. Let’s try it now.”
With that, Ye Fei picked up a piece of the rolled-up meat with his ivory chopsticks and placed it gently into his mouth. He chewed over the meat thoughtfully… then, he frowned.
The people in the channel could not stand it anymore. Their senses had been battered by the sight and smell of the food for so long that they were nearly numbed. Seeing Ye Fei frown, they all felt a sinking sensation in their hearts. What’s wrong? Could it be that this dish actually tasted… bad?
“Deity Ye, tell us what it tasted like, ah. Don’t just sit there and frown.”
“Aiyaya, my heart is all itchy and uncomfortable, ah. Deity Ye, is it good or not?”
“Stop with the nonsense, Upstairs. Just look at that plate of food, how can it be bad?”
“So, why did Deity Ye frown after the first taste?”
“Uh… you guess why.”
“F*ck me~ guess what? What do you want me to guess? So what if I guess, ah?”
This particular fan nearly exploded from frustration.
Just then, Tasting Everything Under Heaven asked, “Deity Ye, how is it?”
Ye Fei suddenly beamed. Then, with a wave of his hand, he said, “I feel that it is more appropriate for Brother 3Dragon to explain describe its taste. After all, since I made the dish, it would sound too boastful if I say it’s delicious, ah.”
Tasting Everything Under Heaven yelled at 3Dragon, “Little Dragon, can you quickly go and have a taste? Let everything know how it is, ah.  Tch, you’ve really gotten yourself a free lunch.”
Hearing Tasting Everything Under Heaven addressing him like this… 3Dragon nearly spat up blood.
Little Dragon? Which part of me is little? Daddy is a Big Dragon, ah.
However, he had no intention of quarrelling in front of delicious food. Trembling with excitement, he turned to Ye Fei, “Deity Ye, is it really fine for me to eat this?”
Ye Fei laughed out loud, “It’s just a dish, it is meant to be eaten after all.”
With that, Ye Fei handed another set of ivory chopsticks to 3Dragon.
3Dragon accepted the chopsticks. Impatient to taste the food, he did not even stop to admire the cutleries but immediately used them to pick up a piece of Bull Pizzle from the plate.
However, he was so excited that the chopsticks kept shaking. The slippery meat and equally slippery ivory made it difficult for him to pick up the meat. After some time, his hand grew sweaty, making the chopsticks slip in his hands, amping up his nervousness. He was so flustered that he nearly wanted to just chop off his hand.
3Dragon thought: Don’t shake, don’t shake, this m*therf*cker… stop shaking, ah! Daddy can’t pick up the Bull Pizzle, ah!
“Haha, 3Dragon, we’re not even there to snatch food with you. Why are you so anxious, ah?”
“That’s right, ah, 3Dragon. Although we really envy you, but you shouldn’t be too anxious, ah. Quickly eat some and tell us whether it’s good or not, ah.”
“3Dragon, you must not have exercised your right hand much, ah. I think you should consider practising the single man’s healthy exercise routine, ah.”
“Pff~~ Upstairs is so dirty~~”
“Haha, single man’s healthy exercise routine~ Brother, you are very good at naming things, ah.”
While everyone was joking with each other, 3Dragon finally managed to pick up a piece of Braised Bull Pizzle. He quickly placed it into his mouth.
Everyone fell silent as they stared at 3Dragon’s expression. Eyes peeled for the slightest change in expression, ears pricked up to catch his comments. If there was even the slightest frown, they would know that this dish really does not taste good.
3Dragon ruminated over the piece of meat in his mouth for a moment.
Suddenly, he straightened up.
[Gumi: … I wonder what awesome sauce description I have to translate…]
This taste was something he had never tasted before. The moment he bit into the meat, the first thing he felt was the sudden rush of broth flowing over his tongue. It was as though flowing lava had erupted and overrun his taste buds.
Right that moment, 3Dragon felt the hairs on his entire person standing on end, his pores opened and all troubles and sorrows that had accumulated in his body were expelled. It was as though he had taken a spirit pill. His entire body felt indescribably comfortable.
After chewing the beef roll a few more times, a strange aroma exploded in his mouth.
It was the fragrance of beef, the fragrance of rose, the sweetness of Wolfberry and the refreshing elegance of broccoli alongside several different kinds of spices and seasoning. The combination of smells nearly sent 3Dragon’s soul ten thousand li zhang up the sky…
Zhang – (1 Chinese feet) 3.3 meters
In fact, even his entire body nearly floated off the floor.
“F*ck! F*ck, ah! Daddy never tasted such delicious cuisine in my life. It’s… it’s simply beyond description. I have no idea what the Royal Banquet of the past is like, but I dare say that not even imperial chefs could produce such delicious food. This is… Deity Ye, may I have another piece?”
3Dragon widened his eyes and begged Ye Fei.
Ye Fei smiled and said, “Of course, however, I should tell you that the Bull Pizzles are even more delicious when eaten together with the broccoli and wolfberry.”
3Dragon did not know what to say anymore. A single piece of Bull Pizzle was already enough to nearly knock him senseless, what would it be like to eat it with other ingredients and have it ‘taste better’?
He had no idea what would happen, but he wanted to try it.
Therefore, he picked up a piece of the meat, along with the broccoli and a piece of wolfberry and placed them in his mouth.
After chewing for a moment, 3Dragon finally understood what true deliciousness means.
“This is too m*therf*cking delicious. Too delicious. I, I… I never thought that there would be such a delicious thing in the world. I think I’m about to go insane, ah.”
3Dragon nearly went insane, but the people in the channel were already insane.
When they saw the ecstasy on 3Dragon’s face, they knew that this was a dish of unbelievable deliciousness. Too bad they could not eat it.
For a foodie, is there anything crueller in the world than seeing delicious food in front of you but not being able to eat it?
Therefore, as these people swallowed the water in their collective mouths, how they wish they could drill through their devices and kick 3Dragon away and taste that deliciousness for themselves.
At this time, the hail of rewards reached its climax. Luxury planes, cruise ships, sports cars… lollipops and claps flooded the screen like fans rushing after stars.
The screen was so flooded with things that the only thing they could see was the reward props. Moreover, there were multiples of everything, making it impossible to see anything but prop items.
“F*ck, can’t see anything. Daddy needs to buy a 100-inch monitor, ah, ah, ah, ah!”
[Gumihou: … Okay, hold up. Beef and rose? First off, eww. Also, refreshing? The broccoli? The one you overcooked in the broth? What.]
 Adjust details
 Things were getting a bit repetitive, so add an extra element to 3Dragon’s thoughts aside from ‘wow, so many people donated, wow’
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