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Divine Culinary Broadcaster – 0050 – This Kitchen is Stupidly Grand

Chapter 50: This Kitchen is Stupidly Grand

Author: Black Lantern (黑色花灯)


Translated by Gumihou                                                     


At any rate, Ye Fei felt that he had to voice out his dissatisfaction with Ma Cuihua.

“I say, just what kind of person are you? If you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, you should at least have the courtesy to let me know, right? Just look at the situation back then. If I hadn’t been sharp-witted, the entire matter would have been immediately exposed.”

Ma Cuihua, still driving, laughed, “Didn’t you manage to fool them? Looks like I have a good eye for people.”

“Please stop it. In the future, don’t look for me for this kind of thing anymore. Also, don’t fault me for saying this, but, that He Peng fellow seems to have a lot going for him, ah. Young, handsome and accomplished but you still don’t think much of him. Why? If it were me, I’d probably go after him.”

“Aih, that’s because you don’t know this person. Didn’t he say that we grew up together? Towards this kind of person, the feeling is closer to friendship than love. A little brat like you won’t understand.”

“What little brat? Let me tell you, Ma Cuihua, your name will be changed in the future, you understand? If I’m a little brat and your taste runs towards people like me, won’t you become a wife and an old mother in one go? Moreover, what part of me is little? It’s all perfectly proportionate, you know?”

“What a rogue, how disgusting. I really can’t tell just looking, ah. Here I thought you were sulking in your room, but to think you’ve actually gotten involved in the broadcasting business. Well, now I’m curious. What kind of broadcasting do you do? Singing? From your voice, even the computer will go blue screen from shock. Dancing? Can you? As for storytelling, stand-up comedy or other entertainment-related work. Well, you might as well listen to this old auntie’s advice. Someone like you is not at all suited to become a broadcaster. If you keep on this road, I suspect even once the world end, you will never become famous…”

Ye Fei was so angry that he nearly spat up blood. He flashed an unhappy glance at Ma Cuihua. “I say, can’t you at least say something encouraging? Didn’t I help you out just now? Also, what’s this horrid thing about me never becoming famous even once the world ends? So what if I can’t sing, dance or tell jokes or stories? Let me tell you, you look down on me because you don’t know me. People who know me will say that I am the greatest loss to the broadcasting industry in the last thousand years.”

“Nonsense, this industry has only been in existence for 3 years.”

“It’s just an analogy.”

The two continued to bicker as Ma Cuihua drove them back to the original cheap residence.

After she parked the car, she asked, “Do you want me to send you to your new place?”

Ye Fei waved his hand, “No need. It’s not like I have a lot of belongings. Moreover, most of those things are worn out. Also, isn’t your place all fully furnished? Things that I don’t need, I won’t bring. I’ll leave you with a little something to remind you of me.”

“Remind me your head, ah! Have you ever seen anyone leaving trash as reminders?”

“Isn’t being different good? If I were the same as everyone else, would you remember me? Alright, I think it’s time for me to go. I need to pack my things.”

Ye Fei returned to his room and looked around the little space he had occupied for nearly a year. Suddenly, he felt a little reluctant to leave. After all, this room had witnessed his many hardships and now that he had to suddenly leave, it would be a lie to say that he had no feelings of nostalgia for this place.

However, when Ye Fei thought of the huge condominium of Ma Cuihua’s at Yijing Garden, this little bit of sadness suddenly evaporated. In a thrice, he packed his things into a suitcase and walked out.

However, as soon as he opened the door, Ye Fei leapt backwards. Ma Cuihua was just right outside his door!

“Aiyo, Sister Ma. I say, you are becoming more and more subtle. Before this, you used to bang on the door, but later changed to knocking. Now you don’t even make a sound, ah. Why are you just standing there? Can’t you at least help me pack?”

“I don’t want to dirty my hands.”

“… Just what are you saying? My stuff might be worn out, but they are all clean. Well, I can’t stay and chat, I should head over to the new place soon. Also, hahh, whenever you miss me, you can come to visit this room. It still carries my smell.”

“Just scram, who wants to experience the smell of your stinky sweat and feet?”

Ye Fei merely grinned and waved at Ma Cuihua before skipping off with his belongings.

After Ye Fei was gone, Ma Cuihua entered Ye Fei’s room. She looked at this and touched that, before finally sitting down on Ye Fei’s bed. She muttered, “So, he really just left?”


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Room 905, 9th Floor, Building C, Yijing Garden.

After placing his luggage inside the room and closing the door, he suddenly leapt into the air and crowed, “Daddy’s finally moved into a big house!”

He spent a nice long time [1] jumping about and pumping his fists in the air jubilantly before finally calming down enough to mentally ask, “System, now that I’ve moved to a big house, the kitchen’s really big too. Didn’t you say you’d prepare the space accordingly? Well? How is it?”

DCB System’s voice echoed in his mind, “The System has remodelled the kitchen for the Host. The Host may explore the kitchen now.”

Ye Fei was not too shocked by the reply. He had already experienced having laptops [1] and storage boxes appearing in his little room like magic.

Therefore, he walked to the door that led to the kitchen, passed through the short corridor leading up to the glass door and pushed it open. He blinked at the sight that greeted him.

“F*ck me, is this still a kitchen? System, are you sure this is a kitchen and not an art gallery?!” was Ye Fei’s reaction after a long time.

DCB System, “This is the kitchen.”

“But, these things… aren’t they a little too artistic? I mean, this bowl. It’s clean but the pattern looks like it came from some historical era. An antique meant to be displayed in a museum.”

“The bowl in Host’s hand is 500 years old. This blue-and-white porcelain product came from the imperial kilns of the Qing Dynasty. It is a courtly item,” the System off-handedly announced.

Ye Fei would have been fine if he had not heard this little tidbit of information. His hand shook and the priceless antique nearly fell to the ground.

“What? A courtly artefact from the Qing Dynasty imperial kiln? M*therf*cker, this is an actual cultural relic?”

“It should be,”

“What do you mean it should be? A 500-year-old porcelain ‘should be’ a cultural relic? This is the very definition of a cultural relic, ah! System, do you expect me to eat rice from this bowl?”

“It is meant for beating eggs and stirring batter.”

Ye Fei, “… …”

Oh my heavens, ah. You f*cking expect me to beat eggs and stir batter in a blue-and-white porcelain antique from the Qing Dynasty? Don’t you know that I’d most likely be killed by artefact lovers?

“What about these chopsticks?”

“Myanmar elephant tusk ivory. One tusk makes one chopstick.”

Ye Fei, “… …”

This fellow’s knees weakened and he nearly collapsed to the ground. He managed to catch himself against the wall and was still struggling to stay upright.

This… this kitchen had really ascended, ah. Just how did the System do it? Chopsticks, ah. Chopsticks are meant to pick up food, why do you have to use elephant tusk of all things? Must you be so arrogant?

“What about the faucet? It sure doesn’t look like an ordinary thing to me,”

“Specially made from Hetian jade found in the borderlands. It could purify water, reduce bad smells and other impurities and provide top quality water for cooking.”

“The cupboard?”

“Made from South Sea Pear Flower wood that allows Host to store ingredients. The inside had been specially modified to preserve freshness and quality of food.”

“It’s not a refrigerator?”

“Ingredients provided by the System cannot be stored inside a refrigerator. A refrigerator would destroy the delicate nature of the ingredients.”

“These colourful plates are made of what kind of porcelain?”

“These are Celadon glazed china, Multi-coloured china, Blue on Yellow glaze china, Blue Based glaze china…”

“… …”

As the System went on, introducing the various items in the kitchen, Ye Fei could only stand in place and stare, dumbfounded. While the System did say that it would provide him with whatever was needed to become a professional broadcaster, he never thought that it would actually provide something as incredible as this. M*therf*cker, this kitchen was basically a treasure trove, okay?

I just want a nice kitchen, why do you have to give me something so stupidly grand, ah?!

[Gumihou: I have some idea where he gets his sass from…]


[1] Some small adjustments


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