Little Cooking Saint – 0187 – Crystal Pork Shoulder (l)

Chapter 187 Crystal Pork Shoulder (l)

Translated by Gumihou

Edited by Gumihou


From her little corner of the restaurant, Shiyu was nearly squirming with glee at the potential mischief she was causing.

[1] What is heavenly retribution?

[1] It is the universe righting what is wrong. People who did bad things reaped bad karma.

Shiyu could almost see the future of this couple now. Shen Lingfei’s background was nothing like Feng Luo’s, but this guy was a pro at deceiving people. Not even Meng Li would see through him for quite a while.

[1] Meng Li’s scheming wiles vs Shen Lingfei’s habit of deceiving girls, hehehe, looks like there will be plenty of drama to enjoy in the future.

[1] Shiyu was practically wriggling in her seat with joy.

The performance was played out in the middle of the restaurant, attracting the attention of most of the diners. Shen Lingfei modestly said, “Ah, since you’re also a student of the Imperial College, would it be alright for you to introduce me to a teacher? It’s my first time coming to the Imperial Capital and I can only depend on other’s help to get around.”

Meng Li noticed that this person’s Cultivation was only a little lower than herself and tilted her chin up a little. However, since his dress and way of talking was quite sophisticated, she should still give him a little face. After some thought, she nodded, “Very well, where are you staying now? I’ll see you tomorrow and take you to the College.”

Shen Lingfei was effusive with his thanks, “Many thanks to Miss Meng Li,”

The talk between the two quickly concluded with Meng Li heading upstairs and Shen Lingfei looking on wistfully at her disappearing back before he too turned and left.

[2] “Xiao Yu…”

Shiyu turned and saw Xiao Shu’s aggrieved face and quickly explained, “That girl is one of the College students. I have a little grudge against her.” She proceeded to tell them about the incidents with Feng Luo, leaving out most of the more intimate and embarrassing stuff but making it clear that this girl was a schemer out to climb a sturdy tree.

Xiao Shu’s angry face grew a little odd as Shiyu went on with her explanation. On the other hand, Qi Chuyun clapped her hands and declared, “Marvellous! This reminds me of the saying ‘Bitches and dogs belongs together.” She smirked, “In the future, you must let me help encourage this beautiful relationship.”

By now, Xiao Shu had calmed down enough to see the potential for evil fun in this scheme and decided to sit back and see how the matter develops first.


This little episode was just a tiny side story to what was developing at Divine Tea Mountain. Although some incidents were often exaggerated, one could at least glean some truth within the overblown gossip surrounding the Mountain.

In the next seven or eight days, Shiyu continued to patronise the First Rate Pavilion, nibbling on Crystal Pork Shoulder and listening to the excited talk around her.

During these few days, Xiao Shu and Qi Chuyun had also successfully registered as College students. Xiao Shu had already made up her mind to join the school, whereas Qi Chuyun… well, Qi Chuyun had nowhere else to go, so, joining a famous Cultivation school under the guarantee of her friend was as good a decision as any. From then on, everyone lived in the same Villa as College students.

As for Shen Lingfei, Shiyu made some quiet inquiries and found that he had also successfully joined the Imperial College as an Arcane Grade student.


This stalemate lasted until the 10th of the Fifth Month. On the afternoon of the 10th, the bright sky suddenly dimmed. Dark clouds had gathered to block the sky. It was the middle of the day, but the sky was so dark that the people within the Imperial Capital had no choice but to light up oil lamps and candles.

These little flickering lights lit up the Capital like the Milky Way. Though the scenery was very pretty, everyone remained anxious as they stared at the brooding sky.

they knew that the dark clouds above heralded even more powerful thunder strikes.

“In the less than three days, the Thunder Tribulation will come,” Wen Heng prophesied

Sure enough, on the 13th day, [4] after a low rumble, purple lighting snapped across the sky. The roar that followed a split second later shook the ground under her feet and her soul felt as though it would be jolted out of her body.

Even 20 miles was too close to the Divine Tea Mountain!

She had no idea what those people on the mountain were experiencing right now. [4] The lightning was so bright that for a moment, Divine Tea Mountain looked as though it was had been slashed by a thousand purple swords and Shiyu had to blink away the after images in her eyes.

[4] Then, she had to blink again.

[4] The mountain had… disappeared?

[4] Shiyu squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head before staring into the space where an entire mountain had once been, but no. It was still gone.

“Did you see that?!”

“Did the lightning tore up a whole mountain?”

Nervous and excited voices reached Shiyu, assuring her that she was not seeing things.

Nevertheless, it was not good news. Shiyu’s heart thumped anxiously. Were her friends on the mountain when it was destroyed just now?

[4] No, they should still be safe. Surely they are safe?

However, Shiyu had no time to worry about her friends because incredibly enough, the dark clouds that had been hovering over the mountain all this while was moving. It must be tracking the Tea of Enlightenment!

The so-called Thunder Tribulation was actually a Divine Tribulation for the Tea of Enlightenment. A plant’s Cultivation is too scary, ah! To think that a plant has to endure three separate bouts of Lightning Tribulation… That last strike had just flattened a whole mountain, you know?!

The dark clouds were now zipping left and right, moving unnaturally fast as though… as though it was following something.

[4] Wait, if the Tea of Enlightenment was anything like San Pang and has achieved enough enlightenment to move around…

Escape! The Tea was trying to escape!

[4] Uh, Shiyu stared up at the ominous clouds and could understand why the Tea would want to escape, but, but, it looked like the clouds were moving towards the Capital?

[4] Wait, if the Tea runs towards the Capital…

[4] Lightning strikes that could flatten a mountain could strike in a city filled with millions of commoners, ah! A Cultivator has a chance of surviving a lightning strike but what about the common people?!

Suddenly anxious, Shiyu activated Chasing Clouds & Moon and sped towards the city walls.

There were a lot of people gathered near the wall to peek at the rumbling clouds. For them, this has to be one of the most exciting thing in their short-lived lives. Whole families were gathered together, young and old, to watch the spectacle.

The guards must have realised something was wrong and were now doing their best to herd the people back into the city. As a great Imperial Capital, the city should have defences beyond just a tall city wall. The Imperial Family would have made sure of this. However, no matter how great the protection, it won’t work if you’re outside the wall, ah!

Shiyu stood on the wall and tracked the movements of the cloud. “Will the Lightning Tribulation come here?” Shiyu asked Fat Cat, who was sitting by her feet.


To Shiyu’s eyes, it looked like the lightning was getting larger and brighter with each strike. Moreover, the cloud itself seemed to emit an ominous purple glow like a giant purple lantern against the dark sky.

[4] Flash, flash, rumble.

Lightning continued to strike the ground.

[4] Suddenly, Shiyu squinted. She seemed to have caught sight of something within the pillar of light. It was a plant! In fact, the plant seemed to be getting larger with each lighting strike…

[4] No, it wasn’t.

[4] It looked like it was getting bigger because it was running towards the Imperial City!

[4] It’s the Tea of Enlightenment!

If that stupid plant gets past the city wall, the Lightning Tribulation will smash into the entire City!

Shiyu was not the only one who noticed this. The commoners who had gathered to watch the spectacle realised this too and began to run for the dubious safety of their homes. Screams and wails could be heard all over.

Behind the Tea of Enlightenment, the Lightning Tribulation floated like a huge ominous balloon. Cultivators who had been chasing after the Tea of Enlightenment dare not approach. They could only stare at the scorched and blackened body of the Tea as purple lightning continued to roast it mercilessly.

“We must stop the Tea from reaching the city!” This thought flashed through the minds of the Cultivators. However, when they looked up at the glowing cloud still throwing blades of lightning down, their scalp tingled and they could not prevent the shivers from running through their bodies.

The power of the Lightning Tribulation was such that even a Divine Condensation Master would be severely injured if struck.

“Tan-Tai, should we stop it?” not too far away, someone staring at the purple cloud asked. “We are the Enforcers after all…”

“Going now would only invite death,” the Girl in Green, now identified as Tan-Tai stared coolly at the raging cloud. “If the local ruler is too stupid to give evacuation orders before the Tribulation, they are the ones at fault if their local peons died.”

“But…” the girl looked as though she wanted to say something, but did not have the courage to voice out the rest of her thoughts. She did not have the guts to face Tan-Tai nor did she dare to directly challenge the Tribulation.

Who would want to throw away their lives for those bugs anyway?

Above the panicking crowd, Shiyu watched as the cloud came closer and closer. Suddenly, she asked, “That Lightning Tribulation is born of Heaven and Earth and is extremely violent. Do you think the Fire Spirit could hold it off even a little?”


[Gumihou: Ah, I see. When the MC don’t go to the Tribulation, the Tribulation will come looking for the MC]


Gumihou is keeping track so that you don’t have to ~


凝氣 Condensation Stage Stage 1
化丹 Core Transformation Stage 2
凝丹(46) Core Condensation Stage 3
化神(52) Divine Transformation Stage 4
成嬰 Nascent Formation Stage 5
合體 Unification Stage 6
返墟 Revert Decay Stage 7
歸真 Original Purity Stage 8
成仙 Become Immortal Stage 9


[1] Restructure Sentence for Dramatic Purpose: Chopping sentences up and rearranging them for immediacy and impact.

[2] USMiC – Shi Yuanshu aka Xiao Shu: Gave her little more dialogue to make her less 2D.

[3] Bitches and dogs belongs together – the original was ‘Whores and dogs are a match made in heaven, but since ‘bitches’ = ‘whores’ and ‘dogs’ = ‘men of low characters’, I thought this translation is more pithy and creative, replacing ‘a match made in heaven’ for ‘belongs together’ to reduce the syllable count.

[4] Added Details for Dramatic Purpose: Also for corrective purpose. In the original text ‘after a burst of muffled thunder, a powerful lightning struck Divine Tea Mountain…’ Er, physics? Hello? Light travels faster than sound?

Describes the amazing sight with some amazing descriptive words. It took me several readings to understand what was happening, so, yeah.

Also, made use of Shiyu’s thought to speculate and follow what was happening.


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This Post Has 10 Comments

  1. Hamster

    Well, it seems the author has created an NPC “Tea of Enlightenment” plant which not only cultivates, but can also move pretty fast. Maybe the fans reading the original raw version gave the author enough positive feedback that there could be an arc later on about the Tea of Enlightenment having some adventures of its own.

  2. Eh...

    “Suddenly, Shiyu squinted. She seemed to have caught sight of something within the pillar of light. It was DUMB LUCK!”
    Why do I get the feeling dumb luck is following Shiyu around?

    1. Gumihou

      DUMB LUCK is sighted! Get your nets ready!!

      1. Eh...

        Aye aye, sir! Nets, popcorn, and facepalms all at the ready!

  3. Hamster

    It would be pretty funny if the tea plant ran over to Shiyu’s villa and Old Gu (*cough* great lord Wen) scared the lightning creature away. The tea plant is too obvious and with so many people watching, Shiyu would be unable to let it inside the Saint’s dimensional storage space. I speculate Shiyu could encourage the tea plant to live at the villa and grow a large number of nice new tea shoots using some Spring of Life water. With that kind of resource, the tea plant wouldn’t want to run away. Maybe there could be a humorous scene of the tea plant occasionally uprooting itself to run over and hug Shiyu. All right, maybe that is a terrible idea out of left field. But that would be an amusing story. A mobile tea plant joins Shiyu’s adventuring party. It also attacks and levels up and eventually becomes a spiritual tea tree. A real Tree of Aeons (google it).

    But with a pet tea plant growing in the villa, Shen Lingfei would be quite jealous especially since Xiao Shu is living there and gets to play with the tea plant all she wants. Then Meng Li finds out that Feng Luo is a frequent visitor as well. Would this cause maximum jealousy with the two schemers? Except that I’ve painted myself into the corner with such an idea since it’s to be expected all those divine cultivators are outside willing to kill the villa residents to take away the tea plant. And how would the pet tea plant survive all the hungry cultivators?

    1. Gumihou

      The title of this story is ‘The Adventures of the Tea’, yes?

      1. Eh...

        Not “The Lord of the Roots”?

          1. Eh...

            “One Shiyu to cook them all!”

          2. Gumihou

            Hohoho, that’s brilliant actually

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