Chapter 133 Octopus Balls (f)
Translated by Gumihou
Edited by Gumihou
Note: Gumihou only found out in this chapter that 章魚燒 is Takoyaki… Gumihou should have used google to check what 章魚燒 turns up, but didn’t. Gumihou has only seen Takoyaki as たこ焼き
However, if you want to know how to make Grilled Octopus, the link below has a simple and sensible method for turning raw octopus to grilled octo.
It’s way more sensible than Shiyu’s Takoyaki…
By the way, the above is a picture of obviously fake Takoyaki. It’s fake because real Takoyaki is slightly hollow inside and would sag a little (see the picture before this one). That’s why they are usually taken at 45 degree above, not at this angle. These are too round and firm. Therefore, Fake Takoyaki.
In other words, these are the fake boobies of the Takoyaki world. ( *)( * )ԅ(‾⌣‾ԅ)
Before the sky fully lightened up, Shiyu had already left the little hamlet.
There isn’t much she could do for this kind-hearted little family that would not disturb their tranquil little life. Nevertheless, she still wished to give them something to repay them for their kindness.
In the end, the gift was neither gold, silver nor precious medicines. She collected a few rare herbs and purified them with her Spiritual fire. Reducing them into liquid before dispersing the liquified medicine into the air. The shining water droplets spread themselves through the house, settling into the bones of the house. In an hour, the light would disappear, leaving nothing visible to the naked eye.
The family who received this blessing would be nourished, any lingering sickness would be cured and they would live longer than the people around them. However, the effect would not be immediate.
After bestowing this gift, Shiyu felt very good about herself. Afterwards, she continued to speed through the mountains and forest with Chasing Clouds & Mountain technique, she turned to Fat Cat, “After being stuck in the Ninth Realm for a thousand years, surely the human races would be itching to take back their homes in the heavens? Wouldn’t the other races that humans would one day storm the sky?”
Fat Cat, “What are you trying to say?”
“I’m just wondering, would those other races storm down into Ninth Realm to destroy us?” After all, if talented people like Lin Fan and Xiao Qi continued to appear in the next generations, it would not be impossible for humans to one day be strong enough to break past Ninth Realm’s limits and ascend to the peak. Would those other races be content to sit on their collective bottoms and observe as this happened?
“They will,” said Fat Cat simply. “Moreover, do you really believe that there are only powerful humans in this world?”
“What?!” Shiyu stopped so suddenly that her momentum caused the trees to bend from the access wind pressure. “Wait, are there other races here? ”
 Fat Cat gave her a look that clearly questioned her base intelligence, “Have you already forgotten about the five Divine Condensation Sea Beasts back at the Feng City Turbulence?”
 “Err…” She must have hit her face too many times against trees, trees, rocks and… you know what, she had to be a bit more careful with this skill.
 Fat Cat sighed the sigh of the frustrated teacher trying to educate a dumb kid, “Then let me ask you, do you imagine that there are no powerful humans in the realms above us?”
 “Err…” yes, she wanted to say yes, but Fat Cat was looking at her with those disdainful pitying eyes so she changed her answer to, “I guess, humans who broke past Divine Condensation Stage will ascend? So that means, uh, there will be some humans… up there?”
 “A Cultivator will ascend the heavens to gain strength. But what does one collect strength for? Isn’t it to protect their homes? It is because we have these powerful guardians that the other races dared not mess with us easily,” Fat Cat said slowly. “Speaking of which, this has nothing to do with you, just get stronger first.”
“En!” Shiyu’s strength of not worrying about things that don’t concern her (yet) came into play. She abandoned the thought and continued to race through the mountains and forests. Let’s get stronger first!
Please read this at kitchennovel dot com ~
And so, Shiyu continued to travel southwards.
A month later, Shiyu made a stop deep within a mountain forest. The trees here were old. About as old as Spiritual Beast Mountain Range, she estimated. The feeling she had from these trees were about the same, but the leaves here were bigger, the air felt denser, heavy with moisture .
As she explored the jungle, her mental awareness spread around her like a net to find if there were any monsters worth tracking down. After deliberately baiting people to ambush her, Shiyu found that her mental awareness has increased along with her battle awareness.
However, there were only low ranking monsters here with very few Rank 3 monsters. Therefore, when she reached a good spot, Shiyu decided to take a break. The place she had chosen was relatively flat and shady, with a stream gurgling nearby.
She had not had a good meal for days now. Ever since the journey began, all she had done was run or bait evil people into attacking her. It was kind of exciting at first, but the constant need to be on high alert and on the run was beginning to wear down her nerves. Being on the run is not romantic at all, it’s very tiring, ah!
 However, there was nobody around here for miles and no dangerous animals or high-ranking beasts around, so she could relax for once. The first thing she did was take a bath in a nearby stream. How wonderful it is to take off her dusty clothes and dip her whole body into the stream and wash up?
Later, after she had bathed and hung her clothes to dry, Shiyu looked through the things in her space ring and found that she still has that two meters long octopus tentacle that she had cut off back at Feng City . The largest part was so thick that she could barely wrap her arms around it.
“I guess this counts as Spiritual Beast meat,” Shiyu muttered to herself  as she prodded the tentacle with her finger. The meat was still raw and with slightly purple skin. She had avoided cooking Spiritual Beast meat because of their tendency to confer a random buff. However, there was no need for such caution in this remote area.
Shiyu cut off a section of the tentacle with Supreme Indifferent and picked up the oddly squishy body part, trying to decide the best way to eat this thing. She had very limited exposure to octopus dishes. But there was one octopus dish that stuck to her.
It’s called Takoyaki.
That’s right, that ball-shaped snack food from Japan.
Simple, cheap and delicious.
Shiyu was sure she could make Takoyaki . She did not have the mould, but she was sure that she could make the round-shaped Takoyaki anyway. After all, how hard could it be?
The most unique feature of octopus is its chewy texture. Moreover, she has some suspicion that this Spiritual Beast octopus would be tougher than most. After cleaning the octopus, she began to massage it.  Massaging the flesh would not only make the octopus meat more elastic but also less tough. After massaging it for a while, Shiyu began slicing it into thin sashimi slices. It did not take long for her to fill a bowl full of very finely sliced sashimi octopus.
 Once done, Shiyu sprinkled a little salt over the sliced octopus and left it to pickle. Next, she crumbled up some dried steam bread into crumbs. She beat a bowl of eggs together with a little butter and poured it over the sliced octopus. After thoroughly coating the octopus slices, Shiyu took out a small handful and rolled them in the breadcrumbs. Carefully squeezing them into round Octopus Balls.
 Since she did not buy a Takoyaki mould, she decided to just fry the Octopus Balls. Once the oil was hot, she confidently dropped the first group of Octopus Balls in.  At first, they sizzled most satisfyingly. Then, suddenly, there was a series of pops and hot oil exploded all over the place.
 What the-
 Shiyu peered into the wok and saw that some of the balls had deformed a little from the explosion, but the general shape was still holding. Shiyu tried poking the balls to help even out the cooking, doing her best to avoid the occasional oil explosion.
 Finally, when the outer shells had crisped up, she fished the Octopus Ball out onto a plate. Shiyu picked up one of the deformed ball to inspect. Pieces of the sliced tentacles had curled up in the edges and the ball itself was starting to unravel. It still smelled fine though, and fried food can’t be that bad, right?
Shiyu was about to pop the ball into her mouth when her coat pocket began to wriggle.
A radish fell out of her coat and transformed into a tiny person. “Fried food! Gimme!”
So Shiyu lowered her chopstick and watched as San Pang leapt and pounced at the Octopus Ball. “I’m so hungry! Why do I get the feeling that I haven’t eaten in ages, ah?!”
 San Pang stuffed the fried Octopus Ball whole into his mouth and chewed and chewed.
 … and chewed and chewed.
 … and chewed and chewed.
 San Pang’s eye began to twitch oddly. Finally, with an almighty gulp, he swallowed the Octopus Ball whole.
 “What the heck is this, ah? Why is it so chewy and oily and squishy at the same time?! Yeech!” San Pang scrubbed his tongue desperately against his arm. “And here I thought I’d be able to eat something good with you around,”
 Shiyu was annoyed, but she was also quite ashamed. “Is it that bad?”
 “Bad! It’s soft and tough at the same time, so weird! The outside is a little crunchy, but the inside is wet and greasy, aargh.” His stomach growled, “I’m still hungry.”
 Shiyu showed him the plate of fried Octopus Balls. Liquid was starting to ooze out of the balls. “I have more.”
 “… I’m not hungry anymore.”
 “Oh, come on,” Shiyu waved the tray at him. “It’s fried food, your favourite.” The heavy-looking fried balls rolled to one side leaving a greasy trail of liquid behind them.
 Shiyu, “… …”
 San Pang, “… no, thank you. I’m full now.”
 Shiyu picked up one of the weeping Octopus Balls with her hand and concentrated. Fire ignited and San Pang cringed. But Shiyu ignored him as she focused her powers on each individual layers of the sliced octopus inside the ball. After a while, she dropped the ball into San Pang’s hands. “There, try it again.”
 The fire had lightly cooked the Octopus Ball from inside, evaporated the excess moisture and crisping up the fried breadcrumbs. San Pang bounced the Octopus Ball in his hand. It was a lot lighter than before. He took a hesitant bite. This time, his teeth made an obvious crunching sound as he bit down. The octopus meat was still a little chewy, but unlike the one earlier, he could actually bite through the meat. In fact, it was quite fragrant and crispy. Chewy without being too tough!
“Umf, it’s not as good as the Squirrel Fish but I guess it’s still good,” he said, stuffing the rest of the ball into his mouth. “More?”
“I thought you’re full?” Shiyu teased, but inside, she was secretly ecstatic.
“I’m starving to death, ah! It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had anything to eat, so gimme!”
Shiyu obliged him and San Pang managed to actually eat three more Octopus Balls before pausing. This guy…
“Hmm? You’re much taller now,” she said. It’s true, this little guy used to be only as tall as her hand, but now he’s about twice as tall. She picked him up like a doll, disrupting his eating.
“Gyaah! Of course! I’m amazing!” the little radish boasted.
 Shiyu grabbed him by the leg and shook him gently, causing the radish to shriek.
“Wait a minute, what’s this?” San Pang suddenly stopped struggling and Shiyu paused too. Then, San Pang carefully stepped out of Shiyu’s hand and began to walk up her arm, while upside down.
[Gumihou: I’m starting to think that author-san is terrible with ball-shaped food as well as anything that has the word 燒 in it. This one is a double whammy.
Since delicious Takoyaki did not actually exist, Note 10 happened.
Anyway, Gumihou managed to rescue the Octopus Ball via Note 11, so we can still return to the ‘kyaa, kyaa, Shiyu’s food is the yummiest’ ending after taking a detour]
Real Takoyaki recipe – https://www.justonecookbook.com/takoyaki-recipe/
Also, Takoyaki uses boiled octopus, not raw ones.
Gumihou is keeping track so that you don’t have to ~
|Condensation Stage||Stage 1|
|Core Transformation||Stage 2|
|Core Condensation||Stage 3|
|Divine Condensation||Stage 4|
|Human Ranks||Beast Rank|
|Pfft, lame spiritual beasts||Rank 1|
|Condensation Stage||Stage 1||Rank 2|
|Core Transformation||Stage 2||Rank 3|
|Core Condensation||Stage 3||Rank 4|
|Divine Condensation||Stage 4||Rank 5|
Please don’t be too dumb. Fat Cat’s dialogue is actually Gumihou being condescending because Gumihou really wants to beat up Shiyu’s dumb head for her dumb questions.
I know what author-san is trying to convey, but please don’t forget the 5 Divine Condensation Sea Beasts they just battled barely half a year ago.
Never mind, Gumihou will patch this information for you and create a more realistic delivery instead of making holes in everyone’s head. Additional Information for Logistic Purpose: If Shiyu is travelling south, and south meant going towards the middle or passing the equator, the air would naturally contain more moisture and the trees bigger with larger leaves. Therefore, added description beyond ‘big and old trees’
By the way, Gumihou lives close to the equator, it’s always summer here Added More Details for Logistic Purpose: Stuff Shiyu does just because  Shiyu lopped off the octopus tentacle back in Chapter 100  Changed Details for Correction: (＠￣Д￣＠；)
Original: “Shiyu knew how to make Takoyaki”
Lies, because Shiyu obviously has zero ideas how to make Takoyaki!! There’s a reason why raw octopus is served with sesame oil and still twitching. It’s not very interesting to eat a piece of unmoving, very gelatinous jelly that tasted vaguely of the sea. Also, one of the other reason to massage an octopus is to improve its flavour.
Oddly enough, Shiyu knows about massaging octopus, but not about how to cook them properly. Rant 1: (ಠ_ಠ)
Dear readers, you get the entire horrible and shitty dark cooking wholesale from Shiyu. Gumihou is done covering for her. Rant 2:
Oh? And where would you buy a Takoyaki mould in this Ancient Fantasy China world? [Net Super]? I’m sorry, but that novel is in an entirely different genre, not to mention one language away from you. Additional Details for Logistic Purpose: Gumihou is going to explain, step by step, what would actually happen if you cook according to Note 8.  Additional Details for Fixing Purpose: What Gumihou would do to fix those sick, soggy, sad Octopus Balls if she has Shiyu’s power.  Additional Details for Logistic Purpose: Transition is needed.
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