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The Feast – 230.2 – Something Wrong with This Picture

Chapter 230 (Part 2): Something Wrong with This Picture


Translated by Gumihou

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com


Gumihou:… lol, I’m sorry, but I sometimes look at Long Pingzhang’s name and accidentally read it as ‘long Pingzhang’, as in the opposite of short ‘long’. It should be pronounced as ‘loong’ as in ‘booth’. The phonetics symbol are as follows:

lɒŋ – long – the opposite of ‘short’

buːθ – booth

luːŋ – Long as in ‘dragon’


Looking at his seething face, Su Nuan Nuan wondered if the little marquis she saw kneeling sadly before a makeshift shrine on the cliffside was an illusion. You know, the one who had tearfully burnt a letter to his ‘dead’ friend? Had she really seen it, or had she imagined it all?

Also, this Long Pingzhang was unexpectedly twisty and manipulative. Just a minute ago he was just saying that he was not this Long Pingzhang person. However, the moment Duan Tingxuan began to retreat, he suddenly made a 180 turn and latched onto him for help. As she watched this unexpected drama unfold, MC Long pulled FC Xiu’er back to the table and sat down. MC Long even poured himself a cup of tea and said reasonably, “How could you have mistaken me for someone else? Didn’t I just called out your name earlier? Tingxuan is a rather rare name, don’t you think? Unlike Zhang Three, Li Four, Wang Two [1] or Pock Face [2], Tingxuan is not a name that just anyone would have, right?”

Duan Tingxuan, “… …”

Su Nuan Nuan, “… …”

So, it turned out that His Excellency Long specializes in making trouble for his friends? For such a delicate and tricky problem, did he think that one phrase ‘I leave it to you’, will solve it? For the moment, it looked like they wouldn’t be able to rid themselves of this weird guy.

“Brother A-Niu…”

However, nobody could deny that this Miss Xiu’er was a very good woman with a thin face. At Brother A-Niu’s shameless attitude, embarrassment stained her face red as she did her best to pull her hand out of Long Pingzhang’s hold. “Please don’t make trouble for this young master. How could you be so greedy and want both things at once? Just… it’s good enough that you can go back home.”

“No. I want to ‘Have Both Fish & Bear Paw [3]’ at once.” Perhaps this Long Pingzhang was also afraid that his current impression of Xiu’er would grow faint with time, he grasped her shoulders and attempted to explain, “Xiu’er, there’s no need for you to be shy, though I have no memory of this guy. I have an impression that this is how I usually got along with Tingxuan.”

“The problem is you really can’t have both fish and bear paw at once.” Duan Tingxuan was really doing his best not to explode into expletives. However, he could not really challenge Long Pingzhang’s claims. Before Long Pingzhang was appointed to his position as Imperial Censor, his relationship with Duan Tingxuan was basically a mutual exchange of random digs and verbal traps. Even in his dreams he never would have expected this fellow to still be digging verbal pits for him after suffering a memory loss. Moreover, it was such a particularly deep hole, too.

“Miss Xiu’er, what do you think?” Su Nuan Nuan ignored the two ridiculous men who were doing their best to one up each other, and decided to ask the only sensible person in this entire circus. As part of the female of the species, she was more interested in this girl’s opinions.

“How about this… Brother A-Niu, you should return with the young master to your home first. Once you have properly established yourself and reassured your family, you can come find me again. I shall be waiting for you.” Xiu’er said tenderly.

Instead of being convinced, Long Pingzhang shook his head vigorously, and muttered, “Xiu’er, there’s no need to trick me. You have no intention of waiting for me. The moment I go back and become that Excellency Long person, you’ll definitely refuse to marry me.”

“Wei, are you sure you’ve lost your memory?” Duan Tingxuan was greatly shocked. He thought: This kind of intelligence was something that Long Pingzhang was well known for, ah. How could someone who had lost his memory display such intelligence? As far as he knew, people who had lost their memory usually ended up as idiots?

“I’ve merely lost my memory, not my intelligence.” Long Pingzhang said haughtily. If he hadn’t really lost his memory and was suspicious of everything Duan Tingxuan said, he would probably have been more himself earlier. In fact, his arrogant way of speaking was exactly like the Long Pingzhang of the past. And look, he was even sneering at people now.

For now, even the little marquis was at a loss what to do. No matter how he scratched his head, he could not think of a way to fulfil Long Pingzhang’s ridiculous request. Finally, he decided to go on the attack and snapped at Long Pingzhang, “Since you’ve lost your memory, why don’t you just hide in the middle of the mountain? What’s the point of you running around Song Jiang for? Just make a decision now, are you coming with me or staying? Nuan Nuan and I still need to go to Niu Tou Mountain. We don’t have time to escort you back to the Capital.”

“Can’t I just wait here while you run your errand?” Long Pingzhang suggested.

Duan Tingxuan face plunged into gloominess, “No, you can’t. You’ve offended King Xiangyang too badly, He’s the reason why you were so badly injured. He was the one who sent assassins after you. If he received news that you are spotted at Song Jiang Province, he will send more people to kill you. You’re not safe here.”

Long Pingzhang lowered his head in thought. Suddenly he looked up at Duan Tingxuan with bright eyes, “How much money did you bring on this trip? Just now you’ flashed a bond worth 5,000 silver taels like it’s nothing. So, it should be alright if you bring a couple more people along, right?”

“What are you suggesting?” The little marquis looked dubiously at this so-called good friend of his.

This ‘good friend’ was currently ignoring him and was now imploring Xiu’er in a tender voice, “Little Sister Xiu, haven’t you always say that you wish to see what the outside world is like? Now is the time to do it. Let us go and travel with them, what do you think? After all, we don’t have to spend a single coin on this trip. Once we reach my home, I can get my family to pay him later, what do you think?”

“Wei! It’s rare that I get to travel alone with Nuan Nuan, you know? What the heck, are you trying to intrude on our alone time? Enough, just let Si Ping bring you back to the Capital.” There was no way Duan Tingxuan was going to willingly let a third party intrude on his ‘honeymoon’.

“Out of the question, Xiu’er will definitely disappear once I leave her here. Therefore, I must bring her with me. Now that I have lost my memory, there’s only Xiu’er in my heart. If those parents of mine wish to have this son back, they must not separate me from Xiu’er. After all, Xiu’er is my rescuer and it is only right for them to be properly grateful to her.”


[Gumihou: … I’ve never seen such a manipulative and aggressive ‘Memory Loss’ person…]


[1] Zhang Three, Li Four, Wang Two – Chinese equivalent to Tom, Dick and Harry

[2] Lol, I’m having flashback to Chapter 35 of Fine Food Broadcasting… I hope this isn’t a real name, because 麻子is literally Pockmark!

[3] Have Both Fish & Bear Paw – Have two good things at once without having to choose between them.

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Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.

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