The Feast – 191 – The Shrew

The Feast – 191 – The Shrew

Chapter 191: The Shrew

Translated by Gumihou

Please read this at kitchennovel dot com

 

“What potatoes? I’m buying yams, aren’t I? Your yams are just too thin. They are basically glorified sticks.” Su Nuan Nuan cursed. Duan Tingxuan tugged at her sleeve and whispered, “Dear wife, these are Iron Bar Yams [1], the best kind of yams.”

“Yo, this brother sure knows his goods.” The hawker laughed. “That’s right, my yams are Iron Bar Yams. Yams that are thicker than these aren’t half as valuable.”

Su Nuan Nuan immediately ‘flew into a rage’ as she snarled at Duan Tingxuan, “What’s a man doing disturbing a woman’s bargaining? You’re more of a hindrance than help, go stand in that corner.” She turned back to the hawker with burning eyes, “So what if these are Iron Bar Yams? They are still too expansive. 2 coins for one. I’ll buy ten of these.”

“25 coins for ten pieces, not one coin less.” The hawker stood his ground.

“23 coins.”

“No way, 24 coins.”

“22 coins.”

“Too little, at least 23 coins.”

“Okay, it’s a deal.”

The hawker, “… …”

Duan Tingxuan, “… …”

King Xiangyang, “… …”

Lu Feng Yu, “… …”

As he watched Duan Tingxuan trudged behind his wife, the ten yams tucked under one arm, King Xiangyang suddenly said, “Feng Yu, ah. This king felt that… perhaps I had been overly suspicious. How could those couple be Duan Tingxuan and his wife? Would an actual heir’s wife haggle so intensively with a hawker? Even if it’s an act, this level of acting is just too high, ah.”

In fact, Lu Feng Yu was also in agreement. Would a dignified heir and heir’s wife really take up such a low level positions for the sake of investigation? The sacrifice was just too high. However, natural prudence prevailed in the end, and he said, “My Lord, it is better not to jump into conclusion just yet. For the sake of getting out of Wei State[2], political strategist Sun Bin[3] once feigned madness for the purpose of escaping. We cannot lower our guard just yet, let’s observe them some more.”

“Wu! You’re right.” King Xiangyang nodded. He really admired this Lu Feng Yu: While it’s true that his number one aide was someone who loves gourmet food over life, he could still be depended on when it came to carrying out major mission. In the end, he still did not blindly defend that Wang cook.

Duan Tingxuan and Su Nuan Nuan explored the market place for close to an hour. Finally, they had enough of shopping and were currently making plans to carry their overflowing baskets home. Though King Xiangyang and Lu Feng Yu continued to watch them, they could see nothing untoward. The two were just discussing whether to end their observation now and have lunch when a sudden scream caught their attention. Both looked up to see a large black horse galloping down the street. Even after knocking down a bystander, the horse did not slow down. It just continued to gallop away scattering other bystanders, causing people to scream and throw themselves away from its path.

“That’s too much, which slave bastard is that? We must get master to find out and punish them!” Su Nuan Nuan howled, shaking her fist at the black horse and its rider. She then ran towards the person knocked down by the horse. It was an old beggar wearing patched clothes, sporting raggedy hair and beard. His hands and feet were black with dirt, who knows how many years since his last bath.

Some of the bystanders rushed forward with Su Nuan Nuan to give their assistance, but then stopped short at the sight of the dirty beggar. It was quite comical to see them suddenly stop, as though they had all run into an invisible wall. Only Su Nuan Nuan continued to crash through. While she wrinkled her face as the sight of the beggar, muttering, “Why so dirty?” her hands never hesitated. She rapidly pushed the old beggar down flat on the floor and slapped his face a few times, calling his name. When the old beggar did not stir, she turned to Duan Tingxuan and yelled, “What the heck are you doing standing like an idiot for? Go and see look for a pharmacy and see if they have a physician there.”

Duan Tingxuan knew from Su Nuan Nuan’s expression that the old beggar was probably in a bad way. He hesitated, and said, “Dear wife, just forget it, ba. We have no relations with him, also, what if he accuse us of something…”

He hadn’t finished speaking when Su Nuan Nuan glared at him reproachfully, “What nonsense is this? This is a human life, you know? If you’re not going to get a physician, I’ll go get him.”

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll go, I’ll go.” Duan Tingxuan was clearly a man who fears his wife. He quickly agreed and hurried off. Roughly 15 minutes later he returned with a young physician. He arrived, gasping for breath, saying, “It’s… it’s really difficult to find a pharmacy around here, and there’s only this physician there. I managed to bring him here.”

When the young physician spotted the old beggar, he frowned in revulsion. Before he could say anything however, Su Nuan Nuan chimed up, “A physician is like a parent’s heart, surely a physician like you would not fear a bit of dirt? Be at ease and don’t worry about payment. You take good care of this old man, consider it a way to make your name. What’s a little dirt? You can go home bath later.”

After hearing this, the physician had no choice but to step forward. After visually inspecting the old man, he reached into his clothes, withdraw his needle pouch and proceeded to perform acupuncture on the old man.

Su Nuan Nuan frowned. Wait a minute, are these needles disinfected? How can you just stick needles into people just like that? Wait, after poking this old beggar, are you going to disinfect them, ah? Oi! This was the awful thing about ancient medical practices. No wonder ancient people are always plagued by plagues!

However, no point talking about that now. The old beggar seemed to be stirring after the acupuncture procedure. The moment the beggar’s eyes opened, he immediately thanked the physician. The physician was not one to hog all the accolades and pushed Su Nuan Nuan and Duan Tingxuan forward. The beggar turned to shower his gratefulness upon these two. Su Nuan Nuan counted out bronze coins, paid the physician and even bought the used needles from the man. She chattered on, “Old man, even though the saying ‘Eating dirty things won’t make you sick’ exist, aren’t you too dirty, ah? Even if you don’t have the means for a proper bath, Jiang Nan has lots of rivers and streams. Surely you can jump into any of those for a little bath now and then? Why are you so filthy? It does neither you nor anyone else any good.”

The old beggar laughed self-consciously, “Thank you young miss for your kind intentions. But this old man is used to this kind of life already. In fact, I’m more uncomfortable being clean.”

Su Nuan Nuan her head helplessly, “Whatever, I don’t care anymore. But you better listen to me, this is for your own good. The next time you get into an accident, if people won’t help you just because you’re too filthy, that’s on your own head. There aren’t as many kind hearted people as me in this world.”

The old beggar laughed again, saluted Su Nuan Nuan once more before taking his leave. The young physician felt aggrieved on behalf of the couple by the beggar’s cheeky behaviour. Duan Tingxuan was also indignant, he complained to his wife, “What was that attitude for? Humph, looks like good deeds don’t always…” the word ‘pay’ was cut off by his wife’s sharper than knife glare. Right… shutting up now.”

This was merely an interlude, neither husband nor wife consider it a big incident. They had enough of the outside world, hefting their basket of goods the couple headed back towards Ming Yu residence. On the way, their talk turned to where to go on their next leisure time. Su Nuan Nuan was in favour of visiting the Hanshan Temple[4], just outside of Gusu.

King Xiangyang and Lu Feng Yu did not bother to follow them after that. Instead, they headed back to the prince’s residence and sat together in silence for a long time in the study.

The King was the first to break the silence, “After following them for half a day, what is Teacher’s opinion of this matter?”

 

Author White Pear Flower: Once King Xiangyang and Lu Feng Yu realized the truth, wouldn’t their black little hearts shatter like glass, ah? Well, can’t blame them. No matter how crafty, cunning and clever Lu Feng Yu is, there is no way he could have realized that the heir wife’s spirit had been swapped out! Hohoho!

 

[Gumihou: Poor Lu Feng Yu, the future doesn’t bode well for him]

 

Imperial Chef Rookie: There’s only less than 20 chapters left, and I’m a yuri novel! Pick me!

Little Cooking Saint: Me, me, pick me! I am basically Nuan Nuan in Wuxia without a man shackle.

Alchemist chef: I have the most stable temperament, you should pick me…

Reborn Super Chef: I cook in modern times, so you can use my recipes

Fine Food Broadcaster: Learn internet slangs and bombastic Chinese ingredients with me

Okonomiyaki: There’s only a few chapters left of me, wa. Translate Japanese for once!

Daddy Fantasy World: I’m licenced…

Kitchen Xiuzhen: I’ve been abandoned by the original author, wu wu wu

Lady Chef: This woman hates me…

 

[1] Iron Bar Yam – They really looked like iron bars

[2] Wei State – The most powerful kingdom in the Three Kingdoms

[3] Sun Bin – A political strategist during the Warring States Period (425-221 BC)

[4] Hanshan Temple – It’s a real temple in Suzhou!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanshan_Temple

Hanshan Temple chant, based on the poem A Night Mooring by Maple Bridge by Tang Dynasty poet, Zhang Ji. Check it out, it’s gorgeous!

 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdT0tWSJGss

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Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. novelbear

    the novel self-promos are cute ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ

    1. Gumihou

      I really, really want to translate more of this writer’s novels, but then… *glances at other untranslated novels…* Ahahahahaha

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