Chapter 129: The Attack Begins
Translated by Gumihou
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“Little sister, you can’t look down on these bandits, even though we managed to get the best of them a few times.” Su Nuan Nuan really doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this unexpected show of vehemence. Human beings are greedy creatures after all, even the calm and rational Concubine Jing was susceptible to this desire. Just a few hours ago she was worried about preserving her life, now that she has tasted success, she wanted to capture all the bandits and delight in their misery.
Concubine Jing blushed, and admitted, “I really have gotten greedy, I know. But, after seeing how sister had so masterfully control the situation and causing those bandits to eat a loss every time excites me so much that I just can’t help it. Sister, you say that we shouldn’t look down on these bandits. I say, it’s fine to look down on them a little. How could a bunch of idiots like them ever be an opponent to someone like sister? The woman with a hundred strategies and a thousand tricks?”
“Little sister, are you praising me or setting me up for a loss?” Su Nuan Nuan thought that being described as someone with ‘a hundred strategies and a thousand tricks’ was just too much of an exaggeration. At most, you can credit her for liking lightnovels a little too much in her previous life.
“Of course I’m being sincere.” Concubine Jing’s laughter was like the tinkle of silver bells, under the dim light, her beauty was exceptionally alluring. So much so that Su Nuan Nuan had to quickly turn her head away, “Please don’t laugh at me, I have low self-esteem and could not be compared to women who are born beautiful and multi-talented.”
[Gumihou: I nearly face planted at this remark]
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At this time, the Slaughter Dog Gang was currently studying the hundred pieces of Flat Stone Cake. Someone proposed to throw the whole lot away, after all, how could they eat anything given to them by the enemy? Have you forgotten how they had planned to poison the well before their plants were discovered?
However, there were more people who were against this sensible approach: Before them were a hundred pieces of warm, fragrant thin biscuits… so thin and so crispy, even before it reached their mouths, they could already imagine the crackle-crunch of its crisp, brittle texture. For these few dozen hungry, windblown, simple minded young men, it was undoubtedly a great temptation. Naturally, they have all kinds of reasons why they should eat those biscuits: Monks are merciful, benevolent people, so how could they poison the food? As for the women, they were here this morning to pray, so why on earth would they carry poison with them?
Conclusion, the biscuits can’t be poisoned.
As the two sides quarrelled endlessly, Chen Jing and Liu Er Niu looked on: This can’t go on, ah. To think that the enemy managed to cause internal strife within their gang with just a hundred pieces of thin biscuits. If they were to come up with some actual food, wouldn’t they have civil strife in their hands? They’re all members of the Slaughter Dog Gang, ah. How could they just fall apart just because of food? Isn’t it just too embarrassing if someone were to find out?
“Alright, alright. Stop quarrelling. Those who want to eat may eat, the ones who are afraid of poison, just don’t eat. Why quarrel over such a small matter? Have you not shamed yourself enough?” Chen Jing snapped exasperatedly. The ones in favour of eating cheered, and rushed towards Liu Er Niu to grab the biscuits. They were halted by their second in command’s glare, who growled, “Who says I’m not eating? Your mom, I’m really hungry, you know? I’d rather eat this then chew on those bloody rations. Now, line up! I’ll hand it out one by one.”
At the sight of his comrades’ grinning faces, Chen Jing felt like the moral integrity of the Slaughter Dogs had been badly tarnished. It would be difficult to gather back whatever face they have already scattered. He sighed a long sigh, and knew that he had once more over thought matters and ended up egging his own face. Just look at this bunch of grinning faces lining up for bread, do they still look like elite members of Jianghu? They looked more like famine refugees lining up for porridge…
As he sat listlessly next to the campfire, Chen Jing really hated the fact that he couldn’t pull all of these brothers down the mountain by their ears, away from all this craziness. This job was just too troublesome, whatever, anyone who wants to continue with the job may do so, he didn’t care anymore. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just give the order to just pack up and leave. After all, ever since the formation of the Slaughter Dog Gang, the one thing he had always emphasized was the Spirit of Loyalty. So, how could he just leave when he knew full well that a few of his brothers had been captured? He really couldn’t bring himself to say it, ah.
He was still lost in thought when someone tugged at his sleeves. He turned and saw that it was Liu Er Niu, holding out three pieces of the thin biscuits. There were still crumbs sticking onto those grinning lips, “Boss, do try some. They’re really f*cking delicious, ah. No wonder that An Ping heir’s wife is so famous for her cooking. Some even say that she is the reincarnation of the Food Deity. Look at this thing, though it looked ordinary, it’s super fragrant and crispy, it’s super dope. The brothers and I have eaten them, and we’re all fine. This is the last three pieces, I saved them just for you. Well? Aren’t this brother of yours loyal?”
“I know you’re the most loyal.” Chen Jing gave a bitter smile. He grabbed the three pieces of biscuits and ate them in three bites, before standing up. In a low voice, he said, “Brothers, I don’t care anymore. Who cares what traps they have in there. We’re going in. Let’s rescue our brothers, grab that heir’s wife and make her cook for us. Come, let’s move out!”
Grab the heir’s wife and make her cook for them. This clearly motivated them even more than money or getting into Mingyu House. The bandits all howled their accord and together they stormed the gates of the monastery.
They were greeted by a young monk, standing all alone in the middle of the courtyard, his palms pressed together in prayer. The very air around him was as tranquil and peaceful as a senior monk, but his young features gave him a rather heroic bearing, especially when the wind obligingly picked up his robes and swirled them about dramatically. The effect was so great that the Slaughter Dog Gang actually halted their steps, as though they have encountered Buddha himself.
“Amitabha, does our dear benefactors enjoy the flat cakes earlier?”
The monk smiled, it was clearly a merciful and tender smile. However, for some reason, Chen Jing and Liu Er Niu found themselves covered in cold sweat and goosebumps sprouting all over their bodies. Not only them, even the bandits who had been fired up by the idea of making Nuan Nuan their personal cook had their flame of passion snuffed out. It was as though hail had come down on their parade, freezing them in their steps.
“Don’t be misled by those stinky monks! What can you do to biscuits that thin anyway?” Chen Jing yelled, but his feet refused to move. Even he never noticed that this was actually the nth time that his gang had been obstructed by something. Morale was an incredibly fragile thing. According to the 5th-century military strategist Cao Gui, ‘in the matter of soldier’s militant qi (morale), it will be roused at the first roll of drums, dwindles at the second, and exhausted at the third.’ This theory had been tested for thousands of years by numerous battles (and athletes), so, how could the Slaughter Dog Gang be any different? Therefore, though Chen Jing’s battle cry was just as loud and lusty as ever, the gang members’ morale was already beyond saving.
“Whether or not we have played a trick on you, why don’t my dear benefactors press down hard on the middle of your chest and find out?” the monk remained all smiles and looked perfectly calm, but his heart was thumping away rapidly: Could this trick of madam heir really work? If one were to press down onto the Tanzhong point, even if it didn’t injure them, it would still hurt, ah.
As expected, Chen Jing and his Slaughter Dog Gang members still dare not bet with their lives. They thumped themselves hard on their chest. Though their general abilities varied, the gang members all have some skill with martial arts. Thus, their hands instinctively moved towards their Tanzhong point and thumped down. In an instant, screams of fright and pain filled the air. Sweat poured out of gang leader, Chen Jing’s, forehead as he tried to brace himself against the pain in his chest.
Author White Pear Flower: En, en, how many people reading this title chapter would have guessed this ending? Wahahaha!
[Gumihou: …Nuan Nuan is evil… or should I say, White Pear Flower, you’re too evil, ah]
 Military Strategist (a real one, lol) – Cao Gui
 Acupuncture Point – Ren 17
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Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.
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