The Feast – 070 – Man vs Rooster

Chapter 70: Man vs Rooster


Translated by Gumihou

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“Aih! In the end my fate is sealed the moment I was born, ah. If I hadn’t been born into a rich family, I wouldn’t be facing all this problem, right?” Su Nuan Nuan sighed loudly. The rest of maids tittered at this remark, amused by their baffling mistress. Said mistress turned to glare at them, “What are you laughing about now? Is it really that funny?”

Hong Lian giggled, “Missy, that is such a typical rich young miss declaration, ah. Look, even Cong’er is amused. If you haven’t been born into a rich family, do you think the life of a poor citizen is fun? That aside, how many family could look after that mouth of yours? Even if your family could afford to feed you, you’d be challenged by the dangers of sickness, lecherous men, or bankruptcy… there are lots of distressing things in life, ah. Why don’t we just consider it as every family, no matter how rich or poor, have their own problems? All we can say is that, a rich family have their own problem, but at least they don’t lack money.”

“Hehe! Hong Lian, you might be young, but you sure have a good understanding of life. Could this be the fabled natural intelligence? Perhaps one day I should send you to the temples to become a nun, with your great intelligence, you might even take over the whole temple one day.” Su Nuan Nuan muttered through gritted teeth.

Hong Lian knew that her mistress understood everything before she voiced out her comments. Su Nuan Nuan was merely angry and embarrassed when it was said out loud, because it meant she couldn’t avoid reality anymore. She laughed, flapping her hand cheerfully at her mistress, “No way, no way, this maid is too attached to the mortal world, and have committed too many atrocities to warrant entry to holy grounds. Just a couple of days ago this maid have just wrung the necks of two ducks, there’s no way they’ll accept an animal killer like me into the temples.”

“Whatever, go and prepare for dinner. I plan to make something new today, I guarantee it’ll be so delicious that you want to swallow your tongue with your food[1].” Su Nuan Nuan eyed the sun, which was rapidly dipping down the western mountains, and stood up, tucking the keys close against her chest. Hong Lian was right, she thought, to be able to transmigrate into such a position was her good fortunate. She just have to take the good with the bad. Let’s consider this key as another layer of defence against those scheming women and not be too proud about it. However, that Duan Tingxuan surely knew how this key was going to trouble her. Humph! Clearly the man wanted to mess around with her! Well, well, though she could not curse him with capital punishment, just watch how she make his life difficult.

As she pondered over various punishments, she made her way out the house. At the mention of delicious food, the maids cheered and trotted eagerly after their mistress’ backside. Cong’er giggled, “Missy’s cooking are all amazingly delicious, I almost swallowed my tongue a few times. I’ve only been here a few days but, this slave consider herself lucky that her tongue is firmly attached, otherwise it would have been swimming in my stomach already. If that happens, wouldn’t it be quite troublesome to fish it out?”

The others laughed at her words, even Su Nuan Nuan couldn’t resist a smile, “Pei! ‘if you’ve really swallowed your tongue you’d be dead, there’s no need to fish anything out, ba?”

They joked with each other as they went down the steps. Before they could reached their little personal kitchen, Si Ping suddenly came trotting in. He gave them all a wide smile and said, “First madam, our master have just gotten a few pounds of good bird nests from the fourth prince. Aside from old madam and elder madam’s portion, the rest are yours.”

“Where is your master?”

Su Nuan Nuan allowed Hong Lian to accept the bird’s nest even as she smiled coldly at the grinning servant.

Si Ping looked at that beautiful and gentle smile, goosebumps raising at the back of his neck. Our master? How could our master dare to come within 50 steps of this place? He’ll probably only come in after making sure I haven’t been kicked out.

In truth, Duan Tingxuan already knew that by handing over this warehouse key to Su Nuan Nuan this morning, he had presented her with a double edged sword. This woman had endlessly declared how true happiness in life was eating and sleeping well, and showed a clear disdain against a large house’s typical power struggle and in-fighting. She would definitely not let him off easy. Best case scenario, he might have to abstain a few days worth of Chun Feng Court’s meals.

At worst, she might actually get really angry and chase him out of the house with her kitchen knife. This was not Mei Yue Lou after all, if he was seen as the rat in this ‘Beauty Chases Beast’ show, where could he place his face after this? While it was unlikely that any high born woman would actually dare to do this, the spirit within that body might not have such… restraint. If she were to overreact, well, he’ll just have to take his lumps in silence.

As he continued to consider the matter from several angles, the little marquis finally decided to send Si Ping, his number one dog to investigate the situation. Let’s use Si Ping to gauge first madam’s mood first, if his dog servant wasn’t kicked out of the house, he’ll consider it a sign from heavens that all was well. After all, his personal warehouse was actually quite impressive. In fact, one might even say that the heavens have just dropped several meat pies right in front of Su Nuan Nuan. It’s possible that she would understand this point and not be too angry.

Thus, Si Ping stepped into Chun Feng Court, a weather vane to gauge the direction of first madam’s mood. From first madam’s scary smile, he could only recite ‘The winds brought cold and misery upon its wings, your servant, he goes and returns not’. There was no way he could give Su Nuan Nuan the truth, instead, he smiled gamely and said, “The master is busy with some work, he should be here soon.”

“I see.” Su Nuan Nuan nodded calmly, then turned to Hong Lian. “Bring out that large cock from this morning. Our new dish will depend on him tonight.”

At the words ‘new dish’, Si Ping’s eyes glowed like two little lanterns. He had to sit on his impulse to yell: Master, come quickly, madam is making a new delicious thing tonight.

“Missy, are we to… kill the rooster here?”

As expected of Hong Lian, no wonder she’s Su Nuan Nuan’s closest maid servant. Able to guess her mistress’ intentions with just these few words. Su Nuan Nuan merely nodded expressionlessly and said, “That’s right, bring it here. I shall personally do the deed.”


Si Ping was shaken into sudden awareness. He quickly realized that things had turned out Not Good for his master. This servant was about to rush out to warn his master when Su Nuan Nuan smiled coldly at him again. She said with a chilling grin, “Yes? Is there anything the matter, Si Ping?”

“Ah… um… that is, something is… um…” Si Ping’s face pulled into all kinds of directions, hoping that first madam will allow him to leave so he could give his master some warning.”

“You’re not allowed to leave, not even for a ‘something’.” Su Nuan Nuan immediately crushed his hopes, how could she allow this male dog time to warn his dog companion?

“Then, why did madam ask me anything?” Si Ping nearly wailed at the injustice, to which Su Nuan Nuan smirked, “I just want to see you squirm. Humph! Might as well get my fun where I can.”

Si Ping dropped his head into his hands and muttered, “The master is cunning, madam is crafty, the two of you are clearly a heaven made pair.”

“En? What was that, dog?” Su Nuan Nuan looked over her kitchen knife at Si Ping. The servant took involuntarily leapt back, and hurriedly said, “Nothing, nothing, this slave’s mouth is merely leaking air, this lowly one never said anything.”

“Humph!” Su Nuan Nuan accepted the basket of rooster from Hong Lian and sat down on a stool provided by Cong’er. She grabbed the rooster by the neck in one hand, the knife in other, and waited. As expected, Duan Tingxuan soon strolled in, a scholar’s fan waving indolently in his hand. Su Nuan Nuan gave a bark of laughter at the man’s confident posture, even as she brought the knife to the rooster’s neck.

A swift jerk of the knife should have ended the cock’s life, however, the bird flapped it’s powerful wings and pecked fiercely against the knife.

Of course, Su Nuan Nuan was the one who deliberately allowed her knife to slip, allowing the rooster panic under her hands. Her grip tightened on the rooster until it was struggling for real, beating its wings and kicking clawed feet fiercely for its life. The moment Duan Tingxuan entered the kitchen, she ‘accidentally’ dropped both rooster and knife with a loud “Aiya!”.

Freed at last, the rooster threw itself towards the direction of a certain unguarded little marquis.

Duan Tingxuan, who had noted the quiet atmosphere and Si Ping not being chucked out yet, judged that all was well within Chun Feng Court, and relaxed his guard. Well, well, it looked like this Su Nuan Nuan had finally learned how to be a proper wife, I must reward this sensible attitude with lots of loving.

Excitement bubbled in his heart, as he strolled past a flowering hibiscus plant and beamed happily. Ah, how lovely Su Nuan Nuan’s dark hair would look with a flower in her hair? Tender feelings beat within his breast as he plucked a few large flowers, and made his way into Chun Feng Court.

He crossed the empty courtyard and was about to enter the kitchen when gorgeously coloured creature came flying towards him, beak opened and howling its dissatisfaction to the world. The little marquis jumped, and yelled out, “Just what is this thing?” His hands automatically flicked out into the Eagle Claw and lashed out, ready to twist the creature’s neck when Su Nuan Nuan called, “Alive! Catch it alive!”

Perhaps it was guilty conscience, but even at his most arrogant moment, he dared not disobey Su Nuan Nuan’s direct command, ah. — At the words ‘Catch it alive’, he wanted to abort his attack, but it was too late. Straining against instinct and training, he could only twist his body aside and redirected his hand, nearly twisting his shoulder out of alignment.

Su Nuan Nuan was a sharp one, how could she not know how amazing Duan Tingxuan’s kungfu was? Setting a rooster at a martial artist, no matter how ferocious, was just too hilarious, ba? Hence, the order to ‘Catch it alive’. As expected, a most magnificent battle between man and rooster commenced. Perhaps spurred by a powerful desire to survive, the rooster seemed to have developed incredible fighting strength. Even a master martial artist like the little marquis would be hard pressed to capture this desperate rooster alive. He had to chase it around the courtyard three times before the culprit was finally stuffed back into the cage.

After that little adventure, the last bit of dignity seemed to have deserted the little marquis. His silk sleeves were all torn up by by vicious claws, and though he had managed to protect that handsome face of his, it was now black as the bottom of a pot as he glared at the struggling rooster in the cage. He howled, “Who’s vicious rooster is this? Su Nuan Nuan, why do you even want that thing alive?”

“To raise, of course. What Mei Yue Lou had been lacking all this while was a spirited fellow just like him. He’ll be an excellent guard for the hens there, even ferrets would run at the sight of such a warrior.”

Su Nuan Nuan came over and smiled winsomely at the rooster, praise falling like rain from her lips. She clicked her tongue affectionately, and said, “What a great fellow you are, even the little marquis have suffered a loss under your claws. You are a great warrior rooster.”

“What warrior rooster nonsense are you talking about.” the little marquis who had swallowed a loss grumbled. “If I hadn’t been caught off guard, or had to take that thing alive, it would have died with just a twitch of my little finger.”

He suddenly narrowed his eyes at Su Nuan Nuan, “I say, Nuan Nuan, this is a deliberate move on your part, right? You just want to watch me humiliate myself catching that beast alive.”



[1] To swallow one’s tongue with food – Unbelievably delicious


[Gumihou: Hahahaha, Su Nuan Nuan is so brilliant!]



Translated by Gumihou from kitchennovel dot com.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Queue

    Ding! Ding! Ding! Correct! 😆

  2. Abastika


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