Chapter 27: Can Eat, Can’t Cook
Author: Black Lantern (黑色花灯)
Translated by Gumihou
No one could have guessed that QQ Platform’s Vice President Li Chenggong [1] would have personally announced Ye Fei’s results. This was simply unimaginable, ah.
Many of the staff who had been with the company for 2 or 3 years could count on one hand the number of times they caught a glimpse of the company’s top executives. Vice President Li had appeared today, but not for the company’s ace sections, Song & Dance or Storytelling, but for that two-day old noob, Iron Star Rank 1 Broadcaster Ye Fei.
Just what is going on?
Everyone knew, in their heart of hearts, that this clearly meant that if the top executives have set their eyes on this newcomer, Ye Fei will likely gain the company’s full backing and stand out as QQ Platform’s True Deity.
In that instant, the entire herd of noisy company staff suddenly fell silent. The Song & Dance and Storytelling sections who had been singing a chorus together just now were now voiceless. Somehow, they all seemed to slowly melt away from sight as well.
Backstage of Fine Food Section.
Liu Ping and the rest never thought that Vice President Li would personally give this news out. It was just simply unimaginable. Right now, this bunch of people behind Fine Food Section were so excited that any word or movement would set them off again and again.
“Haha, with Vice President Li giving the news, let’s see if they dare to doubt us.”
“Vice President Li is such a wonderful guy, ah. Just when we want to slap their faces, Vice President Li presented us with a nice big plank.”
“This face slapping, I can still hear the papapa. I have a feeling anyone who had dissed our Fine Food Sections now felt like their cheeks have been rubbed with chillies, should be quite painful, right?”
“That’s right, that’s right, those guys are too much. Who in the world has never suffered before, ah? Just look at them, just because our section couldn’t win against theirs, they enjoyed stepping on us. Just what kind of people are those, ah. If we don’t beat them to death, we’re kindness incarnate, ah.”
“But, to be honest. Ye Fei’s work this time was too powerful, to think that even the top executives would be shaken into action.”
“Of course, if you think about it, for a two-day old Iron Star Rank 1 newbie to gain a total of HX¥23,000 reward on the first day, was already pretty amazing. Today was even more excessive, the rewards collected were ten times higher than before. It would be weird if the top executives didn’t make a move after that performance.”
“Over HX¥230,000 reward, ah. Right now, I still feel like I’m dreaming, still can’t quite believe it.”
“Haha, you aren’t dreaming. Our section finally made it. No, I should say Ye Fei did it, he helped us vent this resentment in the most beautiful way possible. That guy is just… too adorable.”
The Fine Food Section was full of energy. It was like all of them had been given a shot of chicken blood as they enthusiastically talked about Ye Fei.
In contrast to the Fine Food Section, staff members from other sections were so pale that they might as well be green. Especially, within the Song & Dance and Storytelling Section, where silence reigned supreme.
Not even in their wildest dreams (nightmare), could they have imagined that the cold, almost forgotten section would have the ability to throw such a powerful bomb at them, exploding competition right out of the water.
“Ye Fei… just what motherf*cking guy is he? How could things turn out this way?” one of the Song & Dance statisticians said bitterly.
“Who the hell knows where that creep popped out from? Over HX¥200,000 reward? Just what kind of international level joke is this? Even our Silver Star Rank 1 deity would have trouble achieving this kind of result.”
“This bastard, why didn’t he come to our Song & Dance Section?”
“What stupid thing are you saying, what is he going to do at our Song & Dance Department? Promote delicious food?”
“Aiya, we could only say that Fine Food Section stepped on a piece of dog crap, a super powered, super reinforced, radioactive dog crap. This kind of luck is just too stupid to comprehend.”
“If Celebrate Peace w/ Song & Dance knows about this, I don’t see how he could be anything other than depressed. HX¥100,000 rewards, ah. And here we thought he’d be Number 1… to be stomped on by Ye Fei into the dirt… the difference is just too amazing, the one in heaven stepping the one in the dirt, ah.”
The Storytelling Section office.
“Ye Fei? What kind of motherf*cker is that, ah? How is he so powerful?”
“HX¥200,000 rewards, ah. Just what kind of concept is this? If our Silver Star Great Deity Flashy Phrases, wants to achieve this kind of results, he would have to dig deep into his box of tricks to pull it off.”
“For an Iron Star Rank 1 noob to crush a Silver Star senior. I could only stand and laugh stupidly, ah… Until now, I’m still wondering if I’m dreaming…”
“Just what did he do?”
“No need to rush, the video would be out soon. We’ll all know when we see it.”
As for the other departments, well, a morgue would probably be livelier. This was especially so for Outdoor Sports.
After a long silence, one of the statisticians voiced out, “To… today, it looks like our section is number 1 from the bottom.”
“This is such a hurtful piece of news, ah.”
“That Fine Food Section, who would have thought, ah. That giant piece of salted fish would actually come back to life and overtake our department.”
“You’re wrong, they did not merely overtake us, the fish had transformed into a [2] Peng bird flew over the heads of other sections as well. Even Song & Dance and Storytelling were stepped on by them.”
“HX¥230,000, ah. Just how many people did that bastard have in his broadcasting room, ah?”
“Unclear, we’ll have to ask our colleague from the FF Section.”
“What’s there to ask? Will asking change the result? We’ll know once the video is out, f*ck your grandma, this sucks.”
All the departments within the QQ Broadcasting Platform, aside from the FF Section, of course, did not know what to say at all. One after another, they lowered their heads, the corpse of their broken pride heavy around their necks.
As the news spread beyond QQ Broadcasting staff, quite a few broadcasters also got wind of this incredible news.
“What? HX¥230,000? Are you guys f*cking with me? If he really hit HX¥230,000, this senior will eat another super pizza!”
Iron Stomach was about to explode, even if they beat him to death there was no way he’d believe that Ye Fei noob actually achieved HX¥230,000. That amount was a whole f*cking three times more than his, you know. He had almost eaten himself to death over that single super pizza, even now his gut was sticking out almost obscenely.
“Old Iron, please calm down, this is not fake news. I’ve confirmed it with one of the staff. It looked like this news was given out by Vice President Li, so it could only be true.” Little Greedy Cat did her best to calm Iron Stomach down.
“How can I calm down, ah? Little Greedy Cat, you know my broadcasting tactics best. That super pizza is about 1.05 meter wide. About 8 catty [3] (4.8 kg), you know? I, Old Iron, have eaten the entire thing in front of witnesses, so how? How did that noob broadcaster win against me? Just what kind of person, is he?” Iron Stomach practically leapt up from his chair, it made no sense, nothing made sense.
Little Greedy Cat sent up a bitter smile emoji, “Old Iron, actually, we’ve gotten it all wrong. When we first started off as broadcasters, we entered realizing that this was the worst performing platform in QQ Broadcasting, and assumed that anyone who would come and watch us perform were all poor people. However, only now did I understand that those who love eating could not possibly be poor. They are people with money, with enough money to experience food as an enjoyment instead of a necessity. The reason why they haven’t showered us with money is because we did not manage to touch their sensitive point, looks like we’ll have to change our broadcasting ways, too.”
Iron Stomach laughed bitterly, “How to change? Our broadcasting ways have always been eating, eating deliciously, eating heartily, eating to the point of death. The essence of Fine Food has always been eating, otherwise, how could we call it the Fine Food Section?”
“Eating is certainly important, however, it looks like the audience is also interested in things beyond seeing food disappear in front of them. They wanted to see the creation of food. Ye Fei managed to fill this gap. It’s because he managed to exploit this lack that he became successful.” Little Greedy Cat explained patiently.
Iron Stomach sat down on his chair. After a long while, he revealed some crucial news, “I can only f***ing eat, can’t cook, ah!”
Little Greedy Cat, “… I am the same.”
[Gumihou: Lol.]
[1] Li Cheng Gong – his name is really wonderful, the direct translation is Successful Li! [2] Extended the salted fish metaphor with the peng bird metaphor
Salted Fish – https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=salted%20fish
[3] We used ‘pound’ before, but ‘catty’ is more correct.1 catty = 0.6 kg
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Really, eating something deliciously is an art too.
Thank you
Txs
Thanks for the new chapter!